‘We never stop thinking about Richard... we’re broken-hearted’
MARGARET BRADY LOST HER BELOVED HUSBAND TO COVID-19 DURING THE FIRST WAVE LAST YEAR. SHE TELLS CATHY LEE HOW DIFFICULT IT’S BEEN TO GRIEVE HIS LOSS AND HOW IT HURTS WHEN OTHERS ACT AS IF THE VIRUS DOES NOT EXIST
RICHARD BRADY spent a month battling Covid-19 in ICU at Wexford General Hospital before he passed away last year during the first wave of the pandemic.
His wife Margaret, the woman he met and fell in love with in the late 1980s, said that the grieving process has been difficult and that she misses Richard every day.
‘I find it very hard to accept that Richard died from this. I find it very hard that I didn’t get to see him much after he went off in the ambulance a week before Easter Sunday,’ said Margaret, who also contracted the virus in March of last year, from her home in Riverchapel.
‘I find it hard that we had no proper closure. I really felt it was just a horrible way for anyone to go, without their family seeing them.
‘Richard was one of those people that never socialised, he was so quiet and good humoured, he never offended anybody. We never stop talking about him or thinking about him, we’re all broken hearted.
‘I know we’re all going to go sometime but a few months before that, his brother’s wife died and we all got to go to the funeral. We were all there for her the whole time she was sick, but for Richard, we had none of that and even now we still haven’t seen family or friends. I’ve family in Cork and Kildare and I haven’t seen them. I still haven’t been able to have a Mass in the church and that hurt me’.
Margaret explained that herself and Richard had different symptoms of the virus when they both contracted it in March 2020.
‘I had a sore throat, a headache and awful forgetfulness and I didn’t even know I had it until after Richard was tested and went to hospital in the ambulance. I thought it was just a flu or cold I had and, as it was very early into the pandemic in March, even though I had it, I didn’t think it was Covid.
‘We had locked down and we hadn’t been anywhere, Richard had just gone to the shops, for his walks and home again. When I had it I was a bit confused with it, so I wasn’t even really aware that Richard was sick. He told me that it hurt to touch his skin, but that was all he said.’
Margaret, who is in her 60s, explained that she has suffered with long- Covid symptoms since recovering from the virus.
‘It has been mild compared to some people but I do have fatigue. I was always on the go but now when I’m in great form and get up to do something, as soon as I start I have to sit down as get tired very easily.
‘Anybody that I know now does take Covid seriously but when I see people in the news or in the papers, the people who think it isn’t real or don’t believe in masks, it’s very upsetting. I wonder is there just something wrong with them as I’d love to get a hold of them and show them. I can’t understand it but these are obviously people that have had nobody who was sick with it like we had.
‘I am annoyed with people who just couldn’t give a damn, it’s very hurtful, it really is. When you hear of these people with their parties, it’s just not fair and there are people still taking chances. It’s not that I wanted to have hundreds at the funeral, I just wanted to have people there who I felt were entitled to be there, as I have five children and nine grandchildren’.
Richard’s grandchildren were his pride and joy.
‘He was great with the grandchildren and he had a great time with them. If you ever wanted a babysitter, he was the man and every time we’d go on holidays with our children, he’d be minding their kids. He worked hard all his life for An Post in the GPO. One of our grandchildren lives just down the road from us in Riverchapel and Richard would collect her every day from school and do her homework with her and she still does her homework here.
‘When I miss him most is when I wake up and go down and have breakfast on my own. That was the one time in the day that we’d always be together as one of us would be running here, there and everywhere. He loved to go into the shops as he was always looking for a bargain.
‘I miss just having the banter with him. We had great times laughing and joking together and like every couple we had our arguments as well but it was always something that would just blow over’.
Margaret said that when Richard
WHEN I MISS HIM THE MOST IS WHEN I WAKE UP AND GO DOWN FOR BREAKFAST. THAT WAS THE ONE TIME OF THE DAY WE’D ALWAYS BE TOGETHER
I FIND IT VERY HARD TO ACCEPT THAT RICHARD DIED FROM THIS. I FIND IT VERY HARD THAT I DIDN’T GET TO SEE HIM MUCH AFTER HE WENT OFF IN THE AMBULANCE
left in the ambulance at the start of April last year, she was nervous that he would pick up Covid at the hospital, not realising that they had already contracted the virus.
‘We thought he’d recover,’ Margaret said.
‘He was in ICU for a month and he was always critical so I had it at the back of my head that he might not make it, but about a week after he went in, we were asked to come in as they thought he was going to pass that night. I was told that because I was positive so I couldn’t go in.
‘My daughter came down from Dublin and went in but even she found it hard as everything was in shut down and it was Easter Sunday night. We had to stay where we were in isolation, but my daughter from Dublin was allowed in.
‘Richard held on then and we thought he might pull through. They said though that every time they tried to reduce the ventilation, he wouldn’t have held on to go on further.
‘We saw him the day he died. Because the ICU in Wexford General was empty, we were allowed in so I was with him when he died. As soon as he passed, the nurses wanted to clean up and I asked if a photo could go with him or we could give him his clothes, but we were told that because it was Covid, nothing could go with him.
‘He was just wrapped up and it must be just awful for everybody who goes through that but now, people know that this is what is to be expected and they have heard other peoples’ stories but at the time, I certainty didn’t’.
Margaret looks forward to getting back to normal and having a proper celebration for Richard as soon as possible.
‘He wasn’t a religious man but we will have a Mass said for him, just for closure. We need to get back to the way things were years ago and although it’ll never be the same for me, as I’m without my husband, I would like to get back to a bit of normality.
‘Getting to see friends and family is what I look forward to, as the grief gets to you being left alone. I thought the vaccines should start from the younger people up, as I felt why not give it to those who are waiting to live and not the other way around? If children and upwards got it, they could go back to school and we’d get back to normal’.