The importance of setting boundaries

Healthy communication involves setting healthy boundaries. This demonstrates to another person in a consistent and non-aggressive way that certain behaviours are acceptable while others are not. Healthy boundaries create strength in a relationship. Relationship boundaries usually work best if created as a joint project by the two people in the relationship. You can also set your own communication boundaries and manage your own behaviour, as setting a boundary may or may not cause another person to change their behaviour.

What it is not: Communicating a boundary is not about stubbornly digging your heels in and it is not about forcing another person to change their behaviour. It is not about criticism, blame or judgement.

What it is: Boundaries are based on the understanding that everyone is an individual person, with their own needs, yet is still part of the relationship and a set of shared values. Boundaries are identifiable when you will not let another person jeopardise your sense of safety and well-being and you will not jeopardise theirs. Toxic dump

If I got €1 every time I’m asked how to change another person, I would be rich indeed. Here’s the thing: you can’t change another person but by setting boundaries they might change. If they don’t and this impacts on you, then they are toxic. Toxic people are like energy vampires: get them out of your life or reduce the ‘dose’! Relationships

Communication in your relationship is like doing maintenance work – you need to keep it up and not wait until it has broken down or collapsed. Often, when a problem occurs, it is about both parties: it is about ‘us’. Unresolved conflict can damage relationships. In good relationships, couples work out a way of discussing difficulties so that the issues don’t keep coming back.