My mother objects to my ‘vegetarian’ wedding menu
QMy mother is driving me crazy as I approach my wedding. My fiance and I are both vegetarians and we feel very strongly about this, but we agreed to have one meat option at the dinner because my mother insisted. However, she keeps on complaining that there should be a choice of meats as all her friends are meat-eaters and they will expect it. My father is paying most of the wedding costs so, we don’t feel that we can insist on having things our way. I thought this was going to be a great time leading up to the wedding but instead any time we visit her she has a list of complaints about the wedding — the cost, the venue (which is a really nice hotel) and then invariably she gets back to the menu. My father is very wisely staying out of all this — although he will be the one writing the cheque — and I even feel sorry for him because she must be giving him an earful on a continuing basis. What can I do to relieve the stress? I feel I’m going to let fly at her and say all sorts of things that I will be sorry for later.
AKEEP smiling and tell her that her friends will have to be happy with one meat option. It must be difficult for you both to have meat served at the wedding when you feel so strongly about being vegetarian. Explain that you are compromising your beliefs and are doing this solely to make her happy.
As she is complaining about other things as well, it sounds as if she is stressing about things in general. I suspect that if you were to give in on the meat issue then there would be something else bothering her. Perhaps she is dreading being the focus of attention as mother of the bride, perhaps she is resentful of the amount the wedding is costing — who knows.
A good idea would be to have a word with the person in charge of catering for your wedding and explain that as the majority of the food is going to be vegetarian you want it to be innovative and very special. With a little bit of thought, vegetarian dishes can be exciting and delicious, and then you can tell your mother that her friends will be delighted with the menu you have chosen.
Don’t give vent to your feelings — it is not worth it. Everybody will have a great time on the day and it would be a shame if you had regrets about any aspect of it when it’s all over.