AUSSIE ACTRESSES
As Barry Egan talks to Antipodean Cate Blanchett (see Page 10), Pat Fitzpatrick takes a look at some other famous thespians from Down Under
1 NICOLE KIDMAN Nicole was in Far and Away, where she costarred with Tom Cruise’s accent. (Can you remember anything else about the movie?) She is now married to country singer Keith Urban. A lot of his songs are about singers who have the wrong name for their genre. (Keith Country? Is it too much to ask?) As an Oscar winner, producer and leading female star, Nicole gets asked a lot of weighty questions by the media. Such as, “Tell us about Tom?” and “What inspired you to let your hair go curly again?”
2 ISLA FISHER
Is that the seafood aisle in an Icelandic supermarket? No. Stop with the stupid questions. An accomplished actress, Isla started out as Shannon on Home and Away and is currently the voice of Button on Sofia the First. That’s incredibly popular among parents who use TV to rear their kids. (As if there’s any other kind.) Isla starred in The Brothers Grimsby with her husband, Sacha Baron Cohen. You might know him as Ali G. Or that fella who used to be funny.
3 MELISSA GEORGE
Don’t refer to her as Angel from Home and Away. Melissa had an on-screen meltdown, telling interviewers that she was sick of the show getting publicity because of her subsequent success. The result? Home and Away got loads of publicity. Flamin’ unintended consequences, as Alf Stewart might not say, because consequences is a fairly big word. Her character had a few run-ins with Shannon. That one was no Angel. Ah, stop.
4 KYLIE MINOGUE
A message from the Ordinary Men of Ireland. Someone said that Kylie was the original hot young one in an Aussie soap, cast mainly to attract the middle-agedperv audience. We are not aware of any other kind of female character in Aussie soaps. Except, of course, for your one Irene in Home and Away. Stone the flamin’ crows, as your man Alf Stewart would say, before going on to add some insult about women that would probably have us in court with the feminists.
5 PORTIA DE ROSSI
Portia was previously married to sound engineer Mel Metcalfe, who ran off with her brother’s wife. So he wasn’t that sound. Her wedding to Ellen DeGeneres was a vegan affair. That meant no roast beef that had been in the oven since the time of the Crusades. And, as for an army of little old women serving up two dollops of cold mash from a giant silver plate and saying, “Now”, there was none of that, either. Hollywood people. Crazy.