PAMELA FLOOD
Why was I vilified for having a baby at age 45?
PAMELA Flood has hit back at trolls who attacked her for having a baby in her mid-40s by pointing out the hypocrisy of a society that celebrates older dads.
The TV presenter and former Miss Ireland said she was surprised that news that Mick Jagger is to be a father again at 72, and Ronnie Wood — a dad to twins at 68 — was celebrated, while she was subjected to a torrent of abuse for giving birth at 45.
“It felt awful to be attacked as a mum for my age when I am healthier now than I have ever been — and yet we celebrate older dads,” she said.
“The reality is that the sexist world we live in means that both men and women say to those guys [like Jagger and Wood] ‘good for you’, while older mothers are criticised.
“Mick Jagger may be famous and have lots of money, but the fact is he is still 72 and he is a grandfather several times over, yet I haven’t seen any comments from people asking how could he?
“At the end of the day, if his partner is happy and healthy, I wish them the best in the world, but why do people attack women for this and not
men?”
Speaking about the abuse she suffered, Pamela, who is a mother to Harrison (5), Elsie (2) and Gracie (8 months), said: “It was awful. The sheer volume of nasty comments on social media was unreal. I read every one of them. I couldn’t help myself. And then at two in the morning one day, I read one that was so awful that it completely shifted my way of thinking. It made me realise: ‘Ok so that is the level of people we are dealing with here?’ I realised that if you can honestly say that about someone because of their age that is the lowest of the low. And I said ‘you know what? They’re all nuts.’ And I closed the laptop and went to sleep.
“It still surprises me that people can be like that because the people I surround myself with are not.”
Pamela, who is married to high-profile restaurateur Ronan Ryan, also described how the decision to have their third baby came from “one quick conversation”.
“There was a few drinks taken — because we were at my brother’s wedding — and we got home and we were just in the kitchen having a chat and we were talking about the kids and how great they are and how lucky we feel and Ronan said to me ‘actually I would love another one’, and I answered, ‘oh my god so would I’. “I don’t think I ever loved him as much as I loved him in that moment. We said we would go for it and five weeks later I was pregnant.”
Pamela said she enjoyed partying and letting her hair down in her 20s and 30s but her longing for children hit home while watching a news report.
“I actually remember around my 35th birthday watching BBC news and a report said ‘do you know your fertility at 35 is half what it was at 25?’ and I remember that did frighten me. I thought that maybe I had missed the boat.”
Pamela, who established the clean eating restaurant Counter Culture with Ronan, which has recently relocated from Powerscourt Townhouse to nearby Mercer Street, said that when she met Ronan she wasn’t shy about the way she saw her future unfold and she encourages other women to do the same.
“I was almost 37 when we met and we spoke about having children in the first few months. If you are able to have that conversation with a man and say ‘I don’t want them now but I am saying in the near-ish future — a year or so — I would like to be trying’ that’s a good thing. And if it does scare them off then great, at least you haven’t wasted any time with the wrong person.”
The former Miss Ireland, who has been appointed brand ambassador for Yonka skincare, says she has more confidence about her appearance in her 40s than as a 20-year-old model.
“I was definitely much more hung up back then. Maybe the career I was in played a role but I was definitely more insecure in my 20s whereas now I can go out without make up and I feel much more comfortable in my own skin. Make up is part of confidence, it’s a mask that makes you feel better, but I don’t feel the need to put on the mask every day.”
‘Jagger may be famous, but the fact is that he is still 72’