Five top tips for parents of teens starting college (with some help from Dr Seuss)

It is time to stop helicopter parenting, renegotiate the house rules and get the kids to take on some cooking and laundry

The first six weeks are key to transitioning well to college life. Parents should expect a period of settling in, adjustment and partying for their teenagers. This transition can be a time of great energy and anticipation about new horizons. Naturally, some young people can get carried away by the excitement of the social life on and off campus. However, there are ways to help your teen in easing that transition and make it effective.

1 According to student advisors, it’s vital to attend the orientation of the cam- pus. Bringing a pen and paper along and taking notes can make all the difference. Orientations offer great advice about making the most of college life and will help your teen get to grips with academic learning requirements.

2 College affords young people a level of autonomy and freedom that they have never had before. If they are living away from home, you won’t be standing over them reminding them to study. Even if your teen still lives with you, they will have a much looser schedule of classes. It’s important that they take responsibility for their own learning. Ask your teen, ‘How are you going to manage your time?’ Remember, they can have huge pockets of free, unstructured time and it’s best that they manage those slots productively. It’s important too that they realise that ‘deadline’ means ‘deadline’ in higher and further education.

3 It’s important that your teen develops a sense of belonging in their new environment. Encourage them to become active and involved in, for example, the students union, societies, team sports or developing their hobbies. This will give them a community. It will also speed up and improve their transition. Employers are interested in the development of the whole person and transferable skills. Engagement in these types of activities offers a great vehicle for personal growth as well as providing skills in communication, leadership, team work, problem solving and so on.

4 Leaving home can be a big transition. Some teens will feel homesick, others will relish the newfound freedom and exciting new environments. Acknowledge their transition or feelings of homesickness. It can be good for them to remain in the college environment for a few weeks to settle in before returning home. You won’t encourage their independence if you hover over their every move. If they live at home, you may need to renegotiate house rules and get your teen to take on some cooking and laundry.

5 Finally, coping skills are as important as grades. It’s important that their physical needs for rest, food, water, air and exercise are all being met. Suggest that they ‘unplug’ sometimes and take a break from social media. Your teen could consider having small, non-academic goals. Putting small goals in place is beneficial to their wellbeing and development. Examples could be getting a part-time job or learning to drive.

Above all, remember to keep the doors of communication open between you.

I’ll leave you with the wise words of Dr Seuss from Oh The Places You Will Go: “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”