From teen captive to fugitive from the kids

ELEANOR GOGGIN

I’ve lived a life of fear. When I was a teenager, I was terrified of my mother and when my kids were teenagers, I was terrified of them. I was allowed go to a tennis club ‘hop’ when I was about 14. Unfortunately, I was found kissing a boy who I considered, at the time, to be the love of my life an hour and a half after my curfew. An international incident ensued. I was grounded for pretty much the rest of my teenage years. My parents lived in fear of an unwanted pregnancy. Most of us teenagers at the time thought you could get pregnant from kissing. The ‘other business’ would have been horrifying, but I suppose they weren’t to know that, so I had very little option but to adhere to the new regime. Most of the time, that is. I sneaked out a few times and of course was caught and the repercussions were so awful that I gave up. Basically, I was afraid of my parents.

On the other hand my kids laughed at my ‘rules’. And as I wanted them to like me, I gave in to their every whim. Like my daughter’s 13th birthday party that she organised behind my back and invited a load of boys to without me realising. My boys and myself were banished to my room while they took over the downstairs. Holed up like a fugitive in my own house.

And then there was the ‘unsuitable’ boyfriend who was forbidden to come into the house and would disappear behind the couch when they heard my key in the door after work. I knew he was there and could hear all the kerfuffle when he would be smuggled out. I could hear her two younger brothers skitting laughing but I said nothing. A scaredy eejit of a mother trying to stay on the right side of my very spirited teenagers. They laugh now at my weak attempts at control. I just wish my Mum was still around to hear all the stuff I actually got away with.