Quotes of the week
“It’s [LPT] really easy to pay and really hard to avoid. If somebody has problems with LPT or another tax, don’t let the issue fester. Don’t think you won’t hear from us, because you will. It’s better to talk to us.” Despite a 96pc compliance rate, Collector General Michael Gladney said action was being taken because some homeowners refused to pay the Local Property Tax.
“You must be Nicola’s arms to hold her, her mouth to praise her and lift her up, Nicola’s ears to listen to her.” Fr Vincent Stapleton, celebrating the funeral mass of Nicola Kenny who was killed a day after giving birth to a daughter Lily Rose.
“The message on the cover is a bit arbitrary, because it ordered you all to ‘Mount: Jilly Cooper’ and I’m afraid I’m much too old to accommodate you all. And so instead of mounting me, I want you all to form an orderly line and shake my hand.” Writer Jilly Cooper, speaking at the launch party for her new book Mount!
“When you go away and you’re out of people’s consciousness, they stop noticing you. It’s fantastic, you order your coffee and you get a coffee and leave.” Actress Renee Zellweger was happy not to be recognised during her six-year break from filming.
“It’s long. It’s thin. And it’s cool as hell.” Thomas Platt, a retired biology professor, explains why a parasitic flatworm has been named after US President Barack Obama.
“Certainly not, I’m British.” How author Frederick Forsyth replied when asked, as he entered a Hollywood restaurant, whether he was famous.
“This will require military warfare, but also cyberwarfare, financial warfare and ideological warfare.” Donald Trump, the Republican candidate for the White House, on formulating a plan to defeat IS.
“It is small, but I’m hoping for a good rise on it.” Rav Bansal, a competitor in The Great British Bake Off, with a double-entendre on his bread-making ability.
“The winner was the one I thought closest to mine — still a million miles away.” Bake Off judge Paul Hollywood boasts about his skills in making a dampfnudel, a German steamed dumpling, one of the challenges set for contestants.
“Jeremy Corbyn says he wants to build bridges, but the truth is, he appears more interested in deepening the divides within the party than winning elections.” British Labour MP Owen Smith, who is challenging Mr Corbyn for the party leadership.
“Previous winners include Sir Elton John, Salman Rushdie and Colin Firth, and just when you think it couldn’t get more impressive... it doesn’t.” Actor Sir Patrick Stewart at the GQ Men of the Year Awards.
“My husband and I fell in love at first sight. But love prepares you for marriage like the way needlepoint prepares you for round-theworld yachting.” Writer Kathy Lette.