Incomprehensible tragedy in Cavan

Sir — The unspeakable, incomprehensible, unimaginable, tragedy — the murder of three beautiful children, a mother/wife and the suicide of the father/husband — has left the nation reeling. We are in shock, disbelief, feeling stunned grief and sadness.

It all seems so pointless. So senseless, so inhuman and tragic beyond all imagination.

When someone ends their own life we are so sad for them and their family.

And we keep thinking why, if only...

But for someone to senselessly take the life of another, an innocent, who wants to get on with their life, and a child or children, is too shocking for words. It’s beyond belief. Beyond imagination.

The bereaved families, the family of Clodagh Coll Hawe, and the family of Alan Hawe, have displayed true humanity and heroic dignity in coming together to support each other in their unimaginable grief.

And having a shared funeral Mass and burial for the five of them showed great moral strength and the best of humanity.

How anyone could kill another human being is beyond understanding.

How any husband or wife, could murder their partner is incomprehensible.

How a father or mother could murder their child is mindblowing.

We don’t know why Alan Hawe could murder his wife Clodagh and his three beautiful children, Liam, Niall and Ryan. And we probably will never know. We may never know what took over his mind.

But I think demonising him is counter-productive.

It solves nothing. It explains nothing. It does not and will not help. I don’t think he was evil. I can’t get my head around it. But something may have taken over his mind.

And to hopefully prevent such an awful tragedy taking place ever again, I think the relevant organisations need to try and fathom what went so horrendously wrong.

It needs to be carefully, thoroughly, coolly investigated with open minds and eyes. God rest all their souls. Everyone — colleagues, neighbours, associates and friends — said that he was always there for everyone. That he was the one everyone turned to when they needed support and help.

But was anyone there for him? Was there anyone he could turn to for understanding support, or help?

Was there anyone in his corner? Did he feel overwhelmed by the expectations and too many demands made on him?

Was he concerned about letting people down?

Was he unable to say no to requests for help?

Did he feel pressurised, taken for granted and not valued?

Even strong, seemingly independent and dependable people need a listening ear, a friendly shoulder, a helping hand.

This awful tragedy needs to be a wake-up call to the necessity of support for all.

And I think that all the mechanical devices, mobile phones, internet, Facebook, Twitter and everything going viral have destroyed confidentiality, human empathy, the listening ear, the friendly shoulder, the trust, the little but important things, that make us human.

My deep, deep, sympathy, to the Hawe and Coll families.

In their awful pain, loss, grief distress, they have shown the best of humanity, both families showing no animosity, but a shared understanding and forgiveness. And what a loss it is. May God and his blessed Mother be with them in their terrible grief. Margaret Walshe Dublin 15