Where do Dubs go on holiday?

IN what has to be one of the most Cork things to ever come out of my mouth, I turned to my colleague the other day and asked: “Where do Dublin people go on their holidays?” I meant it quite seriously. Cork people go to Kerry but Kerry is very far away from Dublin and anyway I’m not sure Dubs would enjoy Kerry because there are very few places where you can get a decent skinny Americano and absolutely nowhere at all that will welcome you if your name is Breffni and you drive a black BMW SUV. The reason I wanted to know is because I had a free weekend and needed to get the hell out of miserable polluted London for a good ol’ dose of Irish nature. Flights to Cork were expensive and God knows I’m not desperate enough to fly to Knock, so I booked a return to Dublin, roped a friend into coming along and then consulted a map. Having only ever driven through Wicklow, I decide the garden of Ireland needs closer inspection. We rent a car roughly the size of a biscuit tin at the airport, which is listed at a very reasonable €16 a day online, but turns out to be more like €60 a day when you add on the optional extras, like wheels and insurance. “Do you want the one that covers just the car or the people inside?” the 19 year-old at the desk asks. “Oh, just the car, please, who cares about the passengers?”, I say, my friend standing next to me. We set off, driving into horizontal rain for an hour before arriving at our rental cottage, where the lady informs us there will be no heating, but she’ll drop some firewood round if we want it. We do, I say, unless she wants us to start burning the furniture for heat. Actually I’m only telling you the bad bits because Wicklow is so magical I want to keep it a secret. But I’m guessing everyone in Dublin already knows that.