Amuse bouche... the cohabiting clash

‘Why is there a vegan cookbook in the kitchen?” James asked Claire, trying not to sound worried. If it was a new diet kick, he’d have to tread carefully. There was no way he was going vegan, but Claire took it terribly personally when he point-blank refused to do her stuff.

They’d only been living together a month; but James was learning fast. Doing his own thing, food-wise, was tricky. She’d even warned him that there was to be no fast food, or leaving takeaway wrappers around after nights out with the lads.

“Keep your hair on,” said Claire, “I won’t be annoying you with it. I borrowed it. I’m having the girls over when you’re out on Saturday night, remember? And Caoimhe is vegetarian, remember?”

Two remembers in a row, James thought. He remembered the first bit; but the second? Oh man, that was a tall order. He couldn’t be remembering her mad friends’ eating habits. Did she know what his mates got in Supermac’s? Sure, James wasn’t even sure himself, though probably taco fries with coleslaw. “But that cookbook is vegan and she’s vegetarian,” said James, pleased that he knew the distinction.

“Yeah, but vegan is, like, super-vegetarian,” said Claire. “More hassle, like?” James asked. “Well, yeah. That’s the point.” “To show off ?” “Em, yes, it’s a dinner party,” Claire answered, with that ‘you dopey culchie’ upward inflection at the end of her sentence that was starting to get on his nerves.

They should have moved into his flat, not hers, James thought, as he sat down beside her on the sofa. Those bloody K sisters were on the telly again. Maybe if she let him add sport to her Sky package he’d feel more at home. Right now, he just felt like a visitor, politely eating avocado twice a week and not knowing where the tea was. Not that it was decent tea; where did she buy that stuff ?

“I want to show off this weekend,” Claire said. “You know, that we’re living together. You could even put out a few of your bits around, you know, so it’s a bit more blokeish. A little bit, you know?” James decided he might not unpack fully yet. But he’d be leaving his takeaway wrappers around the place on Saturday night. Making it a little bit more blokeish, you know?