GAME OF THRONES
As Niamh Horan travels to the Syrian border with Liam Cunningham of ‘Game of Thrones’ (see Page 10), Pat Fitzpatrick looks at other cast members
KIT HARINGTON
As in, get your kit off. As any female fan of the show can tell you, Kit plays — who cares, really, we’re mainly just looking forward to seeing him in the nip. His fans thought they actually had seen him nude when he had cave sex with a hot wildling. (It’s actually more intellectual than it sounds. Barely.) There was a lot of disappointment when the news emerged they had been looking at a butt double. That’s the movie term for, “To be honest, I tell Mom I work in porn, it’s just easier on everyone”.
SOPHIE TURNER
Who said that red-haired people have to be ugly and furious? Not me, so send your letter of complaint somewhere else. Sophie plays Sansa Stark, a red-haired beauty with an even temper. Again, nothing unusual about that. Sansa has yet to take her clothes off in Game of Thrones. There is something unusual about that. Still, there are two seasons left, so we reckon the tabloids will get to use their easiest headline of all time. Stark Naked. (Sorry about that.)
JACK GLEESON
A foxy-haired, male Irish actor called Gleeson. What next? He played evil King Joffrey in the show. He was supposed to be called Jeffrey, but the guy doing the read-through was from Belfast. Some fans will know that isn’t true, because he was also called Joffrey in the books. This highlights the divide between fans of Game of Thrones .On one side, you have people who read all five books. On the other, you have well-adjusted human beings.
EMILIA CLARKE
You might know her as Daenerys Targaryen. (Or Dee, if you are after a few pints. Very hard to pronounce.) She gives birth to three dragons on the show. And there you were, thinking you were tough for refusing to have an epidural. Her three dragons prove hard to control. Of course, Irish Mammy still thinks Daenerys has it easy. “Give me a dragon child any day of the week. At least they don’t fall in the door at 5am with some trollop they met in Supermac’s.”
NATALIE DORMER
“Wanted. One hot English actress to play wife of King in Game of Thrones. We’d be very surprised if there wasn’t nudity.” There was only ever going to be one winner of that role. Natalie showed how it’s done when she played Anne Boleyn in The Tudors. Some historians believe the real-life Anne first gave pleasure to Henry VIII ‘in the French way.’ And no, we don’t mean she smoked seven cigarettes and started an air-traffic-controller’s strike.