The Force — and the sea — is strong in Kerry

I’M still in Kerry and still determined to get on a boat trip to Skellig Star Wars, sorry, Skellig Michael. As I explained last week, getting a day trip to the famous Skywalker Skellig is not as simple as it was. Performing a midnight blood sacrifice might get you on a waiting list, but actually getting onto the rock is harder than sneaking into Kim Jong-un’s birthday party.

Then, as ever in Kerry, a solution presents itself in the pub. I am moaning to a barman, who gives me a few words of advice: “Phone Seanie Murphy”. Two days later I get a call from the Yoda of the sea Seanie Murphy himself, who tells me to get my butt over to Portmagee if I want to see this rock. I arrive and he looks at me slightly bemused, offers me some XXL oilskins and a seasickness tablet. “Am I going to need this?” I ask, swallowing my Kwell. “It depends on your level,” he says, looking down on me with his wizened seafaring face. We set off into the brooding Atlantic and soon the little trawler that could is riding high and crashing through waves twice its size.

Every now and again one rises like a big wet open hand and delivers a salty slap across my face. After an hour of relentless grey ocean and rain, our epic destination comes into sight — slicing out of the sea like a huge jagged fin. As we dock, the sun comes out and transforms the foreboding rock into an untouched paradise. Even with heavenly weather as we scale the 618 steps to the top, I can’t help wonder what made those insane sixth century monks look at one of the most inaccessible, dangerous sea crags in the ocean and think “cool place for a monastery”.

I’ve been to some impressive places, but the Skelligs are the best. One piece of advice, do not attempt with a hangover. And if you are planning to go in August, may the Force be with you.