My boyfriend suddenly stopped contacting me
QI’m 42 and separated over four years. I went back on the dating scene last Christmas. I’ve met a few men on dating sites, but nothing came of them. Just recently, I met a man and we seemed to get on well which led to him asking for a second date. He asked me to be his girlfriend and said he couldn’t stop thinking about me and was missing me when we weren’t together. After the second date, a third was arranged but never happened. He just stopped contact and wouldn’t answer my calls or messages. I sent him a long message asking for a reason as to why he was ignoring me all of a sudden and that I felt like he was just stringing me along. He only replied by sending back the thumbs-up symbol. Why do I keep getting treated like this? One minute they are all over me, literally, then just ignore me without giving me a reason. I am feeling very down because it just keeps happening. Please give me some advice.
ATHE treatment you experienced from this man is not fair. It doesn’t matter what was going on in his life, he should have had more respect for you than dismissing you with a symbol in a text. You will probably never know his reasons for doing what he did, but it is more than likely to do with him, and his history, than anything that you did wrong. It is particularly difficult for you as it has happened before.
You have had time to get used to the pain of separation — which I think a lot of people underestimate. Whatever the reasons for the break-up, it is always difficult when it happens — even if you were the instigator. Perhaps it would be a good idea to give the dating sites a break for a little while and concentrate on other areas in your life.
Think about what makes you happy, is there some interest that you would like to pursue and haven’t had the time up until now; are there places you want to visit?
I have had very good reports of the various Meetup groups that are in existence all over the country — anything from walking, dancing, gospel choir, nutrition, to music lovers are all there. You would then meet like-minded people, and everybody comes as a single person to the group whatever their status (meetup.com/cities/ie). Looking them up would, I feel, be a great starting point for you and something quite different from the dating sites.