BRENDAN GRACE

Comedian

Would I like to drink less than I do? That question is confusing — it seems to suggest that my ability to control my drinking is under pressure. Truth is that I enjoy an alcoholic beverage exactly as I enjoy a non-alcoholic one; it’s good to have a choice.

I drink less alcohol nowadays due to the fact that I’m older and calmer and I actually enjoy less intake of food and drink. I don’t like wine. If I feel like a beer, I enjoy having a beer.

I don’t drink at home unless it’s an occasion like a party or a celebration. My dear wife Eileen is the very same. I don’t like to drink alcohol with dinner. So a few beers in a pub with friends is great; but only on a high stool at the bar, never on a chair or a low seat. Am I odd or wha’?

It’s an oxymoron really, because I’ve been performing the ‘Drunken Father of the Bride’ routine for most of my professional career. So let’s keep the secret in place — is he really drunk or is he sober?

Do I get a hangover? That’s an ironic question too, as I now live in America a lot, I have, many times, been confused with the actor who stars in the movie The Hangover. But, yes, I’ve experienced the condition.

What’s the best hangover cure? Well, as I’m a comedian I must give the comedic retort to that question: ‘Stay drunk!!!’ I would suggest however a mug of tea and a wellbuttered slice of batch loaf with Batchelors beans!

Tipple of choice? Guinness, naturally. After all, I was born and raised in the Liberties in Dublin where the smell of hops was so much more ever present than the smell of stew. And, coincidentally, Eileen’s dad Paddy was a brewer in Guinness’s and my own Da, Seamus, was a barman and they both were huge fans of it, too.

Drink is entirely unimportant in my life and, thank God, I’m just as happy having a pint as I am having a smoked cod and chips.