IRISH PEOPLE DOWN UNDER

As Sarah Caden talks to TV star Vogue Williams (see Page 16), Pat Fitzpatrick takes a look at other Irish people who have found fame in Australia

1 RONAN KEATING Ronan is a coach/judge on The Voice Australia. Our guess is it’s full of high-pitched ditties, sung in their slightly whiney accent. And that’s just when they ask Ronan up to perform. Before that, he was a judge on the Australian X Factor. That sounds like a tribute X Factor, where Ronan plays the Irish judge who gets fake giddy and shouts, “You remind me of a young me”. We hear Boyzone are expecting a load of screaming during their proposed reunion gigs in 2018. Mainly from Mikey Graham.

2 SETANTA O’HAILPIN A talented Cork hurler who left to play Australian Football in 2003. And there you were, thinking Setanta is something you get free for six months if you sign up to a broadband package. His brother, Sean Og, famously gave his 2005 All Ireland victory speech as Gaeilge. The Cork fans cheered wildly, especially when he said, “Roar your head off if you don’t speak Irish and this is the first time you have been at a hurling match all year, ye bandwagon shams”.

3 SONIA O’SULLIVAN Sonia lives in Melbourne. They say it’s quite European, because people wear shoes in restaurants. (Flamin’ intellectuals.) At the 1993 World Championships, Sonia came fourth, behind three Chinese athletes who were suspected of taking drugs. We tried to contact them for a comment, but they are still running. It later emerged the Chinese were forced to take illegal drugs. This wouldn’t happen today. They’d just volunteer.

4 MIKE MURPHY Murphy’s Australia was his follow-up to Murphy’s America. They were incredibly popular shows in 1970s and 1980s Ireland, because everyone was planning to emigrate. Shame he didn’t make Murphy’s Canada. Mike also presented Winning Streak and, on radio, The Arts Show. One was a show where people tried to earn loads of money without displaying any talent. And so was the other one, says you, bitter you didn’t get a grant for your book of dirty poems.

5 GRAINNE O’LADS A message from an Irish girl abroad. “Oh lads, just arrived in Sydney wearing a Wexford jersey. Scobie is after getting arrested again. (Australians have no sense of humour. It was only a bit of puke.) Tell Mammy I still haven’t seen Alf from Home and Away. I asked the Irish Times if they’d like me to write about my experiences as an emigrant. They told me to shag off because I don’t have a degree from Trinity, or mad-looking glasses.”