The many lives of Brian
Brian Dowling tells Barry Egan about fame, homophobia, why he should be the next President of Ireland, and how his husband Arthur ‘makes me a better me’
‘Some people think I’m a bit of a knob, arrogant. Nothing could be more untrue’
AS is so often the case with modern Wildean wags like Brian Dowling, those in his company are led to consider something they had not previously given much thought to, but which is, suddenly, and unquestionably, true: namely, Brian Dowling — who won Channel 4’s reality show Big Brother in 2001 and Ultimate Big Brother in 2010 and presented Big Brother and Celebrity Big Brother when it was brought back by Channel 5 until 2013 — suddenly pipes up to ponder what might have been imponderable until he said it. And a vaguely kitsch light went on in my head...
“Bearing in mind Donald Trump, the President-elect of the United States of America, is most famous for his reality show The Apprentice maybe I should run for President of Ireland?”
I had dinner with Brian and hissing tabloid queen Jordan at an awards ceremony in 2011. He was charming incarnate — she not so. Bit of a cow, actually.
Five years later, I’m not sure whether Ms Price has changed but over tea and biscuits at The Westin, Brian Dowling is pretty much the same, if not more likeable, and captivating, company.
At the end of our long tete-a-tete, I had mentioned in passing that I would love to get his six younger sisters’ view on him for this article, before giving the TV star my email address. I expected that would be the last I would hear of it. That night, however, my email inbox beeped with the following...
Michelle: “Our hairdresser, our beautician, our dietician, our fashion guru, our counsellor but most importantly our go-to person, who is always at the end of the phone when we need him. The best bro’ ever.”
Valerie: “I’m honoured to call him my ‘big brother’. He’s honest, caring, strong and a true friend.”
Tracey: “Growing up with a brother like Brian we were never short of laughs, 31 years later we are still laughing.”
Paula: “One in a million, my brother Brian.”
Aoife: “Brian my mother, my father, my brother. He is always there when you need him. But when you don’t need him he is still there sticking his nose in. There is always plenty of laughter when he is around. Brian my BIG brother is one in a million.”
Tara: “I am truly honoured to have Brian as my big brother, nothing ever fazes him, he is always there to dish out the advice and give his opinion whether you want it or not. I think that’s what makes him special.”
Then a joint email from his mother and father, Rosie and Geard: “We are both so proud and ecstatic to see Brian, our only son, living the life he wants, and all the success he has had hasn’t changed or fazed him one little bit. What you see with Brian is what you get. Any mother and father just wants their child to be happy, healthy and living their dreams and Brian is certainly doing that in his own unique way.”
The former Ryanair “trolley dolly” is in flying form today. Indeed Brian always appears to be in flying form. A smile or a quip never seems far from his lips. Here to talk up his role as The Genie in The Cheerios Panto Aladdin at the Tivoli Theatre, Brian is dressed immaculately in a Hugo Boss blue suit that is as sharp as his Rathangan, Co Kildare, wit. He has a history of some great one-liners, of course. Refer, if you will, to Big Brother 2 in 2001...
Narinder: “I wonder if anyone famous is watching and thinking I fancy Narinder.” Brian: “Stevie Wonder.” Or, even more beautifully bitchy, Ultimate Big Brother in 2010. Nadia Conceicao Almada: “I’m such a lazy, fat bitch.”
Brian: “Don’t be so hard on yourself... you’re not lazy.” (When I read this first online, it just said Nadia, and I was thinking it was his co-star in the panto, Ms Forde.)
Dowling’s waggishness is at its funniest perhaps when he turns it on himself. Asked what’s the biggest misconception people have about him, he replies: “Being honest, when I meet people or stop for a chat with someone they always say to me that I’m a lot nicer and way more approachable than they ever thought. So clearly this makes me think that people think I’m a bit of a knob and arrogant,” he says, before adding: “This couldn’t be further from the truth as I’m pretty laid-back and can be quite shy. Now people may be surprised to hear that but it’s the truth. That’s the side of the job I feel most uncomfortable with, the attention.”
What is the difference between the Brian Dowling the public knows and the Brian Dowling that his husband Arthur Gourounlian knows?
“Well,” he says, “I’d like to think my husband Arthur knows the real me. The good, the bad and the ugly. Let’s be honest: this man has seen me naked. When people see you on telly they see the best of you and a more groomed and glamorous you. Arthur sees me at my best but also at the worst. Whether I’m having a day where I’m feeling like shit or someone on Twitter has been saying how vile I am he still loves me, supports me and let’s me be me. Simply — Arthur makes me a better me.”
That wasn’t always the case. In 2005, they broke up and Brian bared his tortured soul to The Mirror — ‘Big Brother Brian tells of depression at love split’ — in what the red-top described as him revealing in the story how “he was plunged into depression by his relationship heartache”.
“It’s still very raw. I’ve been on the heartbreak diet and I’ve lost about 10lb,” he confessed to The Mirror. “When I listen to sad songs on the radio I start crying and I want him back.”
I ask Brian to look back on that time and explain why they broke up. “We were together the first time for four years when we broke up and both still very young and living in London. I think at that stage in my life I was spoiled by my life and loving the rewards of working in telly and still enjoying being the winner of Big Brother. I was out most nights of the week walking red carpets and loving life. At that stage in my life I wouldn’t have taken any relationship seriously and why should Arthur have put up with it?
“He wanted a boyfriend who he could do things with, and go places with. Arthur was a very successful dancer at the time who was also very independent but wanted respect for himself and our relationship. We parted ways but clearly it was meant to be as five years later we reunited...”
They were married in June, 2015, at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Enniskerry at what was described as the first gay celebrity marriage since same-sex marriage was made legal in Ireland. Everyone from Tess Daly and husband Vernon Kay, to Kimberley Walsh and Louis Walsh attended.
So, why did he and Arthur get back together? What was going through his heart when they finally reunited? “I’d never really emotionally moved on from Arthur,” Brian theorises, “and we had always remained friends throughout the years we weren’t a couple. We had both dated other people but clearly no one where we both thought: ‘This is it’.”
Brian and Arthur went for dinner in July or August 2011. On the surface, it seemed like a normal catchup dinner, he recalls, drinks with a friend. “But this one seemed different — more intimate and almost romantic.” It started with numerous compliments to longer stares...”
After their catch-up repast, Arthur asked Brian out on a date. “And I remember saying to him: “A date? Why would you ask me for a date?’ It was just so weird him asking me on an official date after all those years. But it felt very natural and safe with Arthur,” Brian adds, “and before we knew it we were back together and happier than ever.” Do they want to have kids? “Since we’ve been married there has been more pressure put on us to have kids. This of course is a very personal decision. I’ve always managed to keep my private life private and this is something I’d definitely want to continue doing. I’m one of seven and an uncle to five nieces and two nephews,” he says referring to Chloe who is 15; Shannon, 14, Sean, turning 10 in January; Leah, six; Sadhbh and Sophie, both five; and Rian who is three. (I’m sure he could have got testimonials from all of them on their doting uncle to me by email if I had asked.)
“So I’ve always been around kids. I’ve been honest in interviews lately saying of course we would be interested in having kids and have had many conversations about it and it’s something if we proceed with would be in the very near future. If this was the case we would keep it very private until baby or babies arrived into the world safe and healthy.”
In terms of how they relate to each other, Brian says “God, I’d like to think Arthur and I have great chemistry and a real good balance. Arthur is so positive and has an amazing outlook on life. He is so patient, tolerant and forgiving of people. I can be a bit more impatient and spoiled. I blame my mum. She spoiled me rotten.”
What is Brian Dowling like? What goes on in his head late at night when he thinks about life?
“I’d like to think Brian Dowling is a well balanced and well adjusted young man,” he replies.
“Very loving, a great listener, good at giving advice but not so good at taking it and loves nothing