Kan 2016 get any worse? Yes, Kimye aren’t splitting
AFTER Brexit, Trump, Brangelina and all the celeb deaths in 2016 some of us might be wondering, sure what’s another punch to the gut anyway? But then it was reported that Kim and Kanye West aren’t splitting up after all and some people still couldn’t decide; was this a reprieve from more earth-shattering celebrity tittle-tattle or further confirmation that this year was just the worst. Not that we would wish divorce on anyone but Kimye feels a bit played out by this point. Their moniker — Kimye — makes them sound like they might be a rescued circus elephant rather than an international celebrity phenomenon, and the marriage just doesn’t seem good for either of them. Kim just hasn’t been her usual attentionseeking-self in recent times and she must be feeling that she’s long overdue a husband upgrade. Kanye’s hilarious musings/selfevident cries for help have become ever more entertaining/concerning and if anyone could give him the support he needs it’s probably Kim’s legion of exes. If they stay together much longer it’s also possible that another child will have to face the burden of life with a ridiculous sounding name. Of course Kim might have trouble finding another man who will help her “sort through her closet” or who seems proud that she’s famous because of a blowjob (“Eat breakfast at Gucci/ My girl a superstar all from a home movie”) but if they did split she wouldn’t have to listen to him go postal or confuse himself with Jesus any more.