My friend is playing games with his partner’s sister
QI have an odd situation. My friend (male) has three children under three with his partner.
I’m not mad about her, nor is she about me.
He and I did date for just a few months about 10 years ago, but it was nothing serious.
There is absolutely nothing between us now, but he does confide in me.
My friend and his wife have had no sex since their last pregnancy.
I know he is frustrated as he’s tried it on with me.
However, he showed me text messages that he had received from his partner’s sister, which were unbelievable.
He said he didn’t lead her on but I don’t see how this woman would send the most intimate texts if he hadn’t been doing just that.
They were very sexually explicit — telling him that she would be much better at doing all sorts of sexual things than her sister.
I really don’t believe they were just random texts.
I have told him it is a very dangerous game.
I don’t particularly like my friend’s partner and it’s not my place to tell her but she is suspicious of me, whereas it’s her own sister who is suggesting that he cheat on her. Have you any advice?
A YOU have already done all that you can.
First of all you said no when he tried it on with you and you warned him of the dangers of the game that he is playing.
If you were to tell his partner about her sister then both the sister and he would deny it ever happened and she would like you even less than she currently does because it would be a classic case of “shoot the messenger”.
You would naturally then lose his friendship as well.
He is a big boy now — he has three children and a partner to look after.
His sex life is his own business and apart from pointing him in the right direction (and refusing his advances!) there is not much else that you can do.
But above all, make no reference to any of this whenever you meet his partner because nothing will be gained by doing so.
Remind yourself of the words from the Alison Krauss/Ronan Keating song: “You say it best when you say nothing at all.”