Waffling on

Susan Jane White

Be good to your body. You’re the one who has to live in it. Convenience foods aren’t designed to keep you alive in the long term. We now know these products make you fat and ill. Erm, what’s convenient about that? As Bill Murray observed, whoever snuck the ‘s’ into fast food is a clever little bastard.

The month of January has a peculiar Pavlovian effect on us Homo sapiens. Counting calories becomes an acceptable form of penance, like compulsively listening to Liveline. It’s pointless! Hear me out.

Nine calories from fat will make you feel fuller for longer. It’s that tickety-boo feeling you get from avocado on toast, which makes you feel like a souped-up Pokemon, right? But nine calories from sugar will be burned up much quicker, and have you snacking straight away like an Angry Bird on acid. Discovering the difference between feeling like a superhero, or a demented cartoon character, was a pretty special moment for my body.

Choosing food solely on the basis of calorie intake is about as useful as choosing your life partner on how quickly they can cycle. It might come in handy, on a very special occasion. But for day-to-day well-being, both physically and emotionally, it’s pretty much useless.

A healthy diet is not about restriction — it’s about inclusion. When you start including loads of new flavours and wholefoods, your health will start to look after itself without the coercion of a draconian diet. Yes, you might lose a few pounds on a caloriecontrolled diet — but most of that will be personality. So let’s start recruiting kickass ingredients to your kitchen.