Pippa’s ‘no ring, no bring’ party

If like me you are eagerly awaiting your invite to Pippa Middleton’s wedding, I have some bad news. It seems Pips has gone all bridezilla with the guest list and is enforcing a strict ‘no ring, no bring’ rule. That means only invited guests who are married can bring their husband or wife as a plus one. Odd, you may think, for someone who comes from such great wealth to enforce such a miserly rule on her big day, and space certainly isn’t the issue since ‘rear of the year’ Pippa is getting hitched in mummy and daddy’s 18-acre backyard. It’s stranger still though, when you consider that Pippa comes from a long line of party planners, and it was her love of inclusive social gatherings (and in no way a cynical attempt to cash in on her sister’s royal hook up) that motivated her to ‘write’ her magnum opus Celebrate —a guide to parties for those who have been held in an underground bunker since childhood. If you haven’t read it (philistine!) then you may not be familiar with the groundbreaking ideas within. For instance, one notion, which will surely catch on soon, is that at midnight on New Year’s Eve you should “link arms with friends and family and sing Auld Lang Syne”. Sounds crazy, I know. Pippa also suggests drinking bubbly to toast a big occasion, or entertaining children by playing games. Seriously guys, no wonder all our parties have been such duds until now, here was I asking the kids to grout the shower and showing up to friends’ birthdays with a pint of methylated spirits. Thankfully, thrifty Sister Kate, frequently credited for ‘recycling’ outfits (or in layman’s terms, wearing an item of clothing more than once) has made the cut, although the Duchess will be taking a back seat so as not to outshine Pip. It sounds like a great day, I just hope hardworking Prince Wills manages to get a day off work to attend.