The people, the leader and the sun
THE build up to today’s big event has been huge. It began with an announcement on State TV, which was followed up by daily reminders to the people. The people spoke of little else for a whole week. They are generally a hard-working people who are easily pleased, and, quaintly, they still believe what they are told by many of the instruments of the State. So even though they had been lied to before, they didn’t question it when they were told it would be sunny on Sunday.
Some dissidents believed it was a ruse to keep people in work all week while it was sunny outside. The people laboured happily, missing the fine weather, because they had heard the magic words that it was staying until the weekend and would get even better on Sunday — 20 degrees was mentioned. There is only a two in seven chance that good weather would coincide with a weekend, so the people joyfully celebrated this piece of luck. Their moods lightened in anticipation of the fine day, and plans were made. In the past most of the people would have planned to have a few pints as usual but to maybe move their drinking outside. But the people had changed a bit. Life was hard and they needed to stay fit for it. So this time they planned not just drinking but cycling, walking and swimming. The media added to the build up by showing the traditional pictures of young men jumping in the sea and attractive young ladies eating ice-cream in the State parks.
The politicians looked on and they were happy. They knew if they could just get to Sunday, they would be off the hook. They knew that once the people got to enjoy that one fine day, their heads would miraculously empty and they would care about nothing for the next five months. Tricky issues like abortion and questions about the Garda Commissioner would be put aside. The people would shift their attention to more simplistic things, like what Conor McGregor was calling his baby and Stephen Fry being investigated for declaring his anger at God on State TV.
The politicians who were smart kept their heads down as they waited for Sunday. But some didn’t make it through the week. The honourable leader of the opposition, also leader of the Government, got caught out talking about his views on abortion. One of the young men who wanted to lead the country did too, declaring that the citizens had gone too far. The Supreme Leader for Life left the country to try to make it past Sunday. He had a brief hiccup when a journalist had the effrontery to challenge him in Canada, but, overall, he felt he had made it through the week and would get to Sunday, when nothing would matter any more.
There were a few nerves on Saturday as the weather started to look grim but still the people held out hope.
At this point we can’t say for sure if Sunday worked out as planned. The people have a saying: “I hope it stays fine for ye.” We hope it did for them.