Top tips for dealing with everyday stress
IF the genes don’t get you, the stress will. Sure, you should mind yourself, keep moving and try not to put too much crap of the food/ drink/drugs variety into your body. But any doc worth their salt and with a few drinks in them will tell you that it largely comes down to the genes and the stress.
Let’s put aside the big stresses for now — births, deaths, debts, loss, illness, divorce, grief, pain. Let’s just focus today on everyday stresses, the nagging ones that wear us down, that wear away our cogs so the machinery doesn’t work when the big ticket stuff happens.
I get overwhelmed sometimes. Not by the big things. Just by an accumulation of the little things. You have lots of little things to do and emails keep arriving and texts, and calls. And they all feel like more people pulling out of you, all wanting a piece, and all demanding your attention. And you try to line everything up and take one thing at a time, but more things keep piling up. And you can’t focus on one thing because your head is rushing ahead to the next thing. First world problems, I know. But they are the only ones I have to be honest. I don’t have third world problems. And then layer on to that messers.
‘I attempt to avoid officialdom and all instruments of the State in all forms’
The world is full of messers. Usually I am good at smelling messers early on and I just sever contact and go a different route. But sometimes you have no choice. Sometimes it feels like no one does anything right any more, that no one is clear about things any more. Everything has been taken over by this kind of formalised corporate-speak, and behind it, nothing gets done. And the more officious people are, the less action they seem to back it up with. The simplest example being that the more kowtowing someone is, the less likely they are to back it up with actually doing whatever it is they are supposed to be doing. Similarly, the more people give you elaborate descriptions of how hard they worked at a task and all the obstacles they met, the less likely they are to actually do a task. People who just do stuff generally don’t talk about it. They just do it. All this stresses me out as I get older and crankier.
I attempt to avoid officialdom and all instruments of the State or corporatism in all forms. Because you get sucked into this situation where the most simple transaction becomes a huge unnecessary palaver and a waste of time. But as life goes on it becomes increasingly difficult to stay off-grid vis-a-vis the state and corporations. Inauthentic, over-complicated formatted interactions are required by everyone more and more.
I just want stuff to be simple. Because if it’s not simple then it’s probably unnecessarily messy.
Time wasters are the worst. Maybe I’m impatient, but as my time runs out I really resent people wasting it. It’s the height of ignorance. If you are not amusing me, listening to me, if we are not achieving something together, or offering each other some insight, some original thinking, something new, something valuable, then let’s stop and do something less timewasty.
All these things are an increasing feature in the texture of my life. And I have come to realise that while the big things in life matter, the little things are important too. The texture of life and things and people and places play a major part in shaping our mood and our well-being. I think the subconscious picks up textures more than it picks up facts. I am even moving towards thinking texture can be more important than the facts.
However, I’m getting better at dealing with these textural everyday stresses. And it’s back to our old friend simplicity. Stay fresh. Don’t get awful hangovers too often. Move as much as possible, in the fresh air where available. Stay calm and take one thing at a time. Meditate, in whatever way suits you, just even a little bit. A bit of breathing. You’ll probably get nowhere near to nothingness. New thoughts crowd in every three breaths. But the very act of letting them in, realising they are distracting you and then letting them go seems to work. It reminds you that most of it — your thoughts, your emotions — are just noise and distraction. There is a core there, a band of white light that is untouchable if you learn to connect with it. Who knows if or why any of this works, but it seems to. Don’t overthink stuff. Keep it simple. Expect nothing. Be yourself.