‘Hot sex’ last thing on minds of elderly

Sir — Ciara O’Connor (‘One plus one? It adds up to a life that’s no longer right for all,’ Sunday Independent, June 4) should really stop hanging out in online chat rooms with closeted new age sexual libertarians if she is looking for insights into the realities of ageing.

She sounds young, so she must have older relations to tap into for hard information. Dragging in the harmless musings of social engineers such as Sarah Harper and taking same out of context doesn’t bolster her thesis that the traditional man/woman monogamous marriage is threatened by the upward trend in life expectancy.

Shakespeare nailed the ageing process pretty well 500 years ago with his seven ages of man. Nowadays, our biological clock ushers us through the various stages of the maturing process and, while we can influence the transition by lifestyle choices or big pharma, the process is unstoppable. Eventually, mum and dad, having bought the house, paid off the mortgage, raised and launched the kids and seen the last one out of the door, stand and look at one another and ask: “What now?” Not likely. At that stage they have discharged their obligation to the species by placing the next generation in place and become, like same-sex married couples, just another “non-breeding pair”.

It’s hard to believe that “hot sex” would be high on their immediate priority list. If all of this coincides with pensionable retirement and halfway-decent health, the golden age has arrived. Throw in free travel and it gets better.

Hanging out with contemporaries, one quickly picks up a working knowledge of prescription medication, medical procedures (particularly those that didn’t work out), the relative merits of mechanical aids such as walking frames and wheelchairs, and a lot of other stuff.

Incontinence comes out of the closet as a condition that goes with ageing. In Japan, a country with a long-living and rapidly ageing population, nappies for seniors outsell baby nappies in the sanitary products sector.

We pray for contemporaries that die before us and look out for one another as best we can. It is a very serene stage in the ageing process. It deserves more thoughtful treatment. Michael Gill,

Dalkey, Co Dublin