Kids consider parents a big libidinous no-no

Tech neck, a neck, back, shoulder pain caused by pointing the ceann down at a screen for too long, is sometimes considered a millennial ailment. And whilst my millennial childer certainly do spend a lot of time attached to some kind of communication device, so do I.

The young uns tend to document their moments on Snapchat and Instagram, but there is nothing even vaguely millennial about the worst culprits on Facebook, Instagram too, and Twitter. That dubious honour falls to the middle-aged.

“Gorgeous night, here with friends, so perfect.” So perfect you thought you’d interrupt it to tweet? Can only be a codger. Or checking in to places, not a young un thing to do, just a middle-aged un. But the sub-section of Worstest Worst Culprit is the newly-enamoured middle-aged.

It’s sweet and I get it, it’s lovely to be in love, especially when it’s been a while since you were or felt 15. You thought all that infatuation mullarkey was behind you yet here you and your baggy face are, all glowy and excited and going on dates and whatnot. You want to share your joy. That’s nice too. More joy should be shared. But what about your kids?

Am I just being extra codgery? Vaguely puritanical? I know, however, that I have gone from once fearing my parents would find out about things to being terrified my kids will! Few kids want to think of their parents as libidinous. I enjoy using FB to morto my childer on birthdays but as long as the photos are flattering and I do it only once a year, they sneakily like it. But were I to post loved-up photos or check into somewhere with a caption about a “cheeky dirty night away” and tag some dude they’d ground me or throw me out of the house or something.