Gentle process of courting

Sir — Teenagers keep their distance in the cautious new world of dating and sex, writes Niamh Horan (Sunday Independent, August 20).

There is no substitute for face-to-face encounters, no matter how slick instant messaging or FaceTime might seem. Social media preserves distance between users, the safety of not fully engaging, of hiding emotional barometers such as facial expression or voice tone.

Dating before the ubiquity of social media was a genuine encounter, where humans met and experienced chemistry, that indefinable, sensual spark that happens through conversation, voice timbre, laughter, body aroma and, as the famous lager ad from long ago went — “The way she might look at you.”

The unhurried, gentle process of getting to know someone, finding out similarities and differences via a series of real-life, one-on-one dates is made unnecessary — a Facebook search will deliver a life story replete with favourite hobbies, holiday and party photos. Before a couple have a chance to meet up and try out for chemistry, a deluge of information is available to each party, removing the mysterious elusiveness that is the life blood of getting to know someone. The relationship often fizzles out before it has time to develop.

If proof was required that dating has become almost ‘outdated’, the irresistible First Dates series featured hordes of attractive, interesting people in their twenties who admitted to never having been on a date or held down a relationship. A cautious new world indeed! Mari Gallagher Newbridge Co Kildare