Groping isn’t bad manners, it’s assault

Taylor Swift’s groping case came to a conclusion last week. If you missed it, here’s a recap: In 2013, during a meetand-greet, DJ David Mueller put his hand up the pop star’s dress and grabbed her butt. Her team later reported his actions and he got fired. He tried to sue Swift for $3m for defamation, she counter-sued for $1. She won and in a way it was a little victory for anyone who has ever been groped because what she did was send a message that grabbing someone else’s ass is not being flirty or frisky and it’s got f-all to do with the length of anyone’s skirt: it’s illegal. On the bus to a music festival my friend and I are discussing our own groping experiences. Mine was at an arty-farty party aged 26. There were canapes, wine, lots of chatting and one man in his 50s who in a room full of people deliberately, determinedly inserted his hand down the back of my jeans, and felt my ass. I froze momentarily, then went to the loo, locked the door and stood wondering ‘did that just happen?’ I told my boyfriend I wanted to go and when he asked me what was wrong on the walk home I told him, then never mentioned it again. It never crossed my mind to do anything about it because I thought that would be mortifying for all involved. If the same thing happened today, I hope I would react differently. But the point is not how I would act, the point is that a man my father’s age (actually scratch that, because my/his age are irrelevant) felt confident that he could grab me in public in someone’s front room (again, the setting doesn’t matter, it could have happened on Patrick Street or in private) and get away with it. What the Taylor Swift trial taught us all is this: if you put your hands on someone else’s ass, you better be prepared to put them in your wallet too.