Doormats bring a bit of colour to my life

Ihave always liked my fashion. And I have quite expensive clothes in my many wardrobes — ranging from size 10 to size 16. The size 10s have been there for some considerable time and are purely ornamental at this stage and I now accept I will never don them again. So I find recently that I have turned my attention to anything other than clothes. I just don’t get the same enjoyment out of clothes now that I’m a bit ‘stronger’ looking. Basically, nothing falls flatteringly on me any more. But I could spend days, and I mean days, wandering around hardware shops. And hours on my phone Googling things like mirrors and brightly coloured kettles and toasters.

I was in the Kingdom recently and found some brightly coloured doormats. I bought a fuchsia pink one and I have to say I’m thrilled with it. Better than any Chanel suit. The only problem is I left the turquoise one and the green one behind. And to say I became obsessed with procuring them would be an understatement. I trawled the internet for hours to see if I could buy them locally and when that appeared to be a feat too far, I rang the shop in Kerry and explained my major predicament. I was close to tears. I could hear by the woman’s voice that she considered me to be mentally challenged but she did promise to ring me back to see if we could work something out. She didn’t. And I’m not surprised. She could be in rehab now. So I got into the car and drove around to every local hardware shop I could think of.

I’m proud to say I’m now the owner of six different coloured doormats that will probably never see the light of day. Next week it could be cushions. If only I could turn all my size 10 clothes into household furnishings. I obviously have far too much time on my hands.