Luck is definitely in the eye of the beholder

I’M never going to win the Lotto. It’s unquestionably connected to the fact that I don’t do it, but that is because I know I won’t win it. I simply don’t have that kind of luck. It’s not that I have no luck, not what I mean at all, just not that kind. My luck is more in what does not happen. For luck, I believe to be in the eye of the beholder.

The Boychild’s birth prompted the arrival of a group of students, apparently there weren’t that many chances to examine such postnatal carnage. It was a difficult time and it annoyed me when people said: “Just be grateful you have a healthy baby.” ie — it could be worse. I was grateful. I just reckoned I could have had him without the carnage.

Then I met a lady whose son was born in exactly the same circumstances; a medical professional, she was convinced her boy’s acute brain damage was a result of that. When my baby was born, the medical audience who had been summoned as things got worse ran off with him immediately, then handed him back some time later baffled. He seemed fine. His subsequent diagnosis with dyspraxia was attributed to the birth, it’s been tough for him at times, but manageable. He has also developed in other ways to compensate.

It was not tremendous luck for a young, single woman with a few weeks’ maternity leave, during which to recover, to have a traumatic first childbirth. It was not tremendous luck for the baby to be bruised and bleeding as he began life. But it was tremendous luck that such s **** y circumstances had so relatively few consequences. The thing with other people telling you it could be worse is that it feels like they’re diminishing your problem. But when you can see it yourself, it changes everything. Luck is in the eye of the beholder.