It’s either calm or stormy weather

I’M a creature of complete extremes. Sometimes my annoyance takes a very hysterical turn and other times it’s bordering on ennui. I was on a river cruise recently and had, I must admit, copious glasses of wine when the urge to feed my nicotine addiction took over and I made my way for the gangplank where I had seen a nice little bar before we boarded. Otherwise the smoking area was quite a distance away at the other end of the boat.

So I tried to get out the main door and down the gangplank and discovered to my annoyance that the guy on reception wouldn’t hear of me going out there. Now my nerves were becoming fraught and I was convinced he was one of the anti-smoking brigade. So I became incensed and insisted that he let me out. He continued to refuse and I muttered and ranted and showed my annoyance by throwing my hands up in the air and, I must admit, I took on a slightly belligerent air. I went back to my table and explained my truculence and it was only when I was told that we were actually moving that I realised the folly of my ways.

And then the other day I was clamped and had to call the gobshites who clamped me and sit in the car and wait. When the perpetrator arrived, I opened the door marginally, took the receipt without a word and continued my calm and frosty silence for the 20 minutes that he spent with his face next to mine trying to clean the sticker off the window. I sat there and played Scrabble on my phone and pretended he didn’t exist.

Now he didn’t exactly start a conversation with me about the weather but normally I’d be chatting away. I proved to myself that I can shut my mouth when I have to. I’ll have to practice that new-found attribute on a daily basis.