Food as a source of comfort and love

Sharing food has even played an important role in our evolution, by increasing the closeness of our relationships and helping us to develop social bonds.

As well as using food as an outward sign of love, we may also use food as our go-to gift of comfort. Just as a crying infant is soothed by the offer of milk, so we have all learnt, from the earliest of ages, to associate comfort with the feeling of a full tummy. Add to this years of bribery, treats and “Oh, I deserve it!” moments, and it is no wonder that food is a comfort blanker for many.

Wanting to extend this to others we care about is therefore no surprise. If someone we know is upset, one of our first instincts is often to offer them a cup of tea (or something stronger!) or a slice of cake. By doing so, we are trying to make things a little better for them. But feeling like we are able to do something can make us feel better too.

Giving and receiving messages through food or drink can be a wonderfully loving and caring act, but it shouldn’t end up causing harm in the long term to either ourselves or others. The occasional treat is a joy, but when this becomes a regular habit, then perhaps we need to re-evaluate things a little.

Consider whether there are other ways that you could show your feelings that are not related to ‘treat’ food. And how about showing affection and kindness to ourselves? Self-love through the enjoyment of healthy nourishing foods will feed a virtuous cycle of wellbeing for both mind and body. Here are some non-food treat ideas that I use. I’m sure you can think of others too.

NON FOOD TREATS

■ Hand-written notes

■ Tiny presents

■ Flowers, even just a couple of stems picked from the garden

■ Physical touch or hugs

■ Words of encouragement or comfort

■ A walk together

■ A listening ear

■ Offers of practical help

■ Advice

■ A long bath

■ A movie, comedy show or box set

■ An evening with a good book