It’s my party and I’ll shout if I want to

ELEANOR GOGGIN

ALONG time ago I was a great one for the video camera when they came out first, and had numerous milestones recorded and kept for posterity. Like kids’ Communions and Confirmations, holidays in France, the time I was a contestant on the Brendan Grace Show and my mother and myself in the audience at The Late Late Show where my mother became an attention seeker and asked a question of Gay. In a very posh voice. I found a very nice man who converts old VHS to DVD and it was only the other day that my son and myself sat down to see what he had managed to retrieve. Sweet Jesus is all I can say. The first thing that came up was myself and my mother at The Late Late Show. Given that she died in 1989 it’s a long time ago. I have what appears to be a pink headscarf around my neck, under my white shirt collar and tied in a big bow. Was that ever a fashion? My mother looked pretty normal compared to me. We both had our sucking in the cheeks vibe going on for the duration.

And then came the shocker. My 40th birthday party. I have to be the biggest loudmouth ever. I’m shouting and posing and ranting. Showing off. Like a child in front of adults. For a huge length of time I’m standing in front of the fireplace warbling country and western numbers about people dying slowly out in the desert and there’s a line in the chorus about beating the drums slowly and to create a bit of grief I’m wildly beating my chest and throwing my head back. It’s beyond belief. Nobody is telling me to sit down and shut up because after all it is my party. My only fear is that I still behave like this when I’m out after a few drinks. I’ll have to ask somebody to record me. I’m just glad that some of the tapes were too damaged to convert.