The glory truth that masks laziness

SOMETIMES people who make the least effort demand the most praise. You can deliver thousands of uncommented upon dinners, all of which were at least edible, but someone else cooks once in a blue moon and they’re lamenting the lack of praise before you have finished chewing the first forkful. Or they loudly commend their own efforts in a way they have never commended yours.

I heard of someone who said he didn’t share housework because his wife didn’t praise him enough when he did. He lives in the house and co-authored the kids but expects praise for sharing the workload involved. Someone else lamented the wife who had no interest in preparing day-to-day family meals but was keen on cooking the glory meals at which there would be guests, aka witnesses.

The person you share your life with should make you feel good. We all like praise; feeling unappreciated is soul-destroying over time but there is a big fat line between acknowledgement and cheerleading. There is so much involved in running a life, so many teeny things every day, that making it a co-production means everyone is doing lots all the time.

Expectation is one part of it. If you’re someone who thinks a man parenting (NOT babysitting) his own children is exceptional then you will see it as deserving of praise. If you think a woman who does the DIY is heroic then you will see it as deserving of praise.

Some people see something that needs doing and just do it. Others only make an effort when there is glory involved. The need for glory is a bit odd in itself, but sometimes glory hunting just masks laziness because it’s an excuse to do feck all.