Supplements, pilates and maybe a Prius
APEER casually told me over lunch that he had a touch of arthritis in the knee. A cold shiver ran down my spine. Arthritis is for old people, isn’t it? And we’re not old people. Sure, we’re heading up for 50. But 50 is different now to how it used to be. Fellahs of 50 used to be old. They wore suits and hats. Women of 50 were pretty much getting ready to get into a shawl and sit by the fire. But not anymore. Fifty is young now. We wear trainers and nice jeans and all the young people’s clothes we couldn’t afford when we were actually young. We go out, we listen to modern music, we’re up to speed with the latest fads. In fact, we’re never going to get old. We are putting in the work now, with exercise and clean eating and complex regimes of probiotics and vitamins. And we are convinced somehow that all this is gong to prevent us from ever becoming actual old people.
I am lucky enough not to have to take any actual medications yet, but in the last few months I have managed to develop an elaborate regime of supplements. So I’m on two probiotics for some reason. Because somehow I have decided the Alflorex on its
‘I’d go on the testosterone if I could convince a doc to give it to me’
own isn’t enough. So I take an OptiBac with fibre too. Because fibre is good, right? Are any of these actually sticking in my gut? Who knows? I feel they help, and the last time I saw the gut man he said if I think it works stick with it. I have now added to this something called Revive, which is an “Amino Acid, Vitamin & Mineral Complex combining 26 amazing active nutrients in one daily sachet to help you look, feel and perform at your best”. A few people have mentioned that Revive is amazing so that was good enough for me. I now imagine that it is putting a pep in my step every morning, though in reality that could be down to the very strong coffee I have with it.
This is all, by the way, costing a fortune, but I haven’t admitted that to anyone, least of all myself, yet. I figure I can stop any time I want. In the new year I’ll cut back a bit, maybe just try the one probiotic.
In the meantime someone sent me some Krill oil supplement that is apparently good for the testosterone and the brain. So I’ve added that into the mix. I take them in the morning, washed down with the Revive. I have decided recently that I’m having some kind of male menopause. Not that everything isn’t working, but I just feel a bit tired sometimes. Before, someone might have said that was just feeling tired sometimes. Indeed, back in the olden days, they might have just put it down to getting older. But now, it’s a lacking of some kind, that can be fixed by a supplement. So I’m on it.
To be honest, I’d probably go on the testosterone if I could convince a doctor to give it to me. I’d probably even chance the Human Growth Hormone if they were dishing it out.
I’m also contemplating the pilates. The wife told me you can have one-on-one classes where she goes. Because obviously I wouldn’t be going in making a fool of myself with a bunch of strangers. Not until I know I can do it. Apparently it’s good for strengthening the core. I’m going to be straight with you here and tell you I don’t exactly know what that means, but I hear it’s important as you get older, not that I am.
So basically I’m turning into some kind of creepy Californian who takes loads of supplements in the morning and then goes to yoga. Maybe I should consider getting rid of my enormous prehistoric gas-guzzler car and getting a Prius, though I don’t want to be mistaken for a taxi driver.
The big worry here is that all this stuff is not going to stop us all getting old. Us Gen Xers are a guinea pig generation in all this stuff. The Baby Boomers have been defying ageing to a certain extent by refusing to grow up, but if we take Bill Clinton as the test case there, looks like he still got old. We are the first generation to really go for broke with the pilates and the crazy supplements. We are going to be well pissed off if we end up getting old anyway, which is, you’d have to admit, the likely outcome here.
For me, I keeping looking at all those hardy lads and ladies swimming out in the sea.
They’re ageing, but with rugged style. I reckon that could be the secret.