Dad to Milly — ‘You don’t feel like that all the time, do you?’ ‘Yes, all the time’
Maeve Sheehan THE Government yesterday acknowledged the call for improved services made by the parents of 11-year-old Milly Tuomey, who died by suicide last year.
Fiona and Tim Tuomey recounted the harrowing story of their daughter’s death on The Late Late Show last Friday night, saying they didn’t know what signs to look out before Milly took her own life.
Jim Daly, the minister responsible for mental health, last night extended his “deepest sympathies” to Milly’s family and promised that seven-day mental health services would be provided early next year, and he also expected a national helpline to be established.
Milly Tuomey was remembered by her heartbroken parents as a funny, mischievous, talented girl who loved figure skating and playing the piano.
Mrs Tuomey described how Milly had “highs and lows” and at times was withdrawn. “You are not in a position to know the cues. You hear some of the warning signs and, of course, with 20-20 hindsight, fantastic, we might have been more aware of them, but unfortunately, we didn’t know the signs.”
Mr Tuomey recalled a walk with Milly weeks before she died, in which they spoke about all the things she wanted to do. As it was a positive conversation, he broached the subject of her feelings.
“I thanked her for the walk and the conversation, and I said, ‘You know that stuff you’ve been saying recently, about how you’ve been feeling. You don’t feel like that all the time, do you?’ Because we had a nice walk I was thinking she was in a positive mood. And I remember she just stared blankly at me and just said: ‘Yes, all the time.’ And for me I was pretty crushed by that.”
Milly was referred to a psychologist, and then to an art therapist. Mrs Tuomey was then advised to make an appointment with the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services. The appointment was made for January 30 and later brought forward to January 5 because of concerns about Milly.
On January 1, Milly watched a movie with her family, left the room, and was found in a critical condition shortly afterwards. She died on January 4.
The Tuomeys asked people to sign a petition calling for the establishment of a suicide prevention authority, similar to the Road Safety Authority. Fiona Tuomey also founded the Healing Untold Grief Group (HUGG) for families bereaved by suicide. Samaritans’ 24-hour helpline: freephone 116 123