‘In Norway I paid over €50 for a phone charger’
THE Dublin comedian Jarlath Regan has been doing stand-up comedy for about 14 years. He moved to London four years ago where he created his award-winning Irishman Abroad podcast series. He has appeared on Tonight At The Palladium, Russell Howard’s Good News and Stand up Central.
He will be in Vicar Street on January 12 with his latest show, Organ Freeman. For more information, visit ticketmaster.ie or jigser.com. What’s the most important lesson about money which your year as a comedian has taught you? Hide money. Not in a Paradise Papers offshore account kind of way. Hide it from yourself. Most notes are very washable so bury them in pockets and socks and bags. Anywhere you’re likely to forget you left it. The sheer joy of finding money is truly one of life’s great highs. Hiding money prevents you from spending it. What’s the most expensive country you ever visited? Norway — a phone charger over there cost me over €50. What’s your favourite coin? The one you find hidden deep in your coat pocket when you’re struggling to find change for the parking in a multi-storey car park. What’s the best advice you ever got about money? As a child, my mother told me to: “Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves”. Being a very literal young lad, I really didn’t understand why I need not worry about taking care of my pound coins, while my pennies were to be secured and treasured. Other kids would regularly trick me into handing over my pounds in exchange for pennies. Apart from property, what’s the most expensive thing you have ever bought? I have never bought anything really big. I don’t have a fancy car. I have never gone on a big holiday. I don’t own a big watch or crown. I did buy my wife a nice engagement ring with the first big pay cheque I ever got. What was your worst job? I had to do data entry for a summer at ESB International. The job was mind-numbing. But, like all boring summer jobs, it came with minimum responsibility. My sister, who got me the job, worked with me every day and we laughed more in that job than I do now employed as a comedian. Are you better off than your parents? I have no clue. Like most children of the 1980s and 1990s, my parents’ finances have never been revealed to me. I think kids shouldn’t know how much money their parents have. If you won the Lottery, what would you do with the money? Tell nobody. Lodge money to the accounts of my loved ones without saying a word — and then watch the intrigue and mystery unfold. I’d keep my job, build something (a statue of myself, more than likely) and donate the rest to charity. If you could design your own euro note, whose face would you put on it? Mary Robinson, as it has to be someone we all respect and believe deserves a note of their own. Would you buy property now? I’m not sure I’ll ever buy property. Property seems like a real pain. It seems to become all you are capable of talking about. iTunes or Spotify? Apple Music all the way. Although, how the hell does the artist benefit from it. I’d love to see the whole system change to help the small artist but who knows how or if that will ever happen. Do you ever haggle? Honestly, it’s my favourite thing in the world to do. In the last two years, I’ve gotten semi-decent at it. I’ve got good reductions on clothes and shoes. They seem more open to it in Britain. In Ireland, it didn’t matter how many times I spat in my hand, they wouldn’t budge.