MIND MATTERS
JOHN MASTERSON
Christmas is a time for children. A worried parent asked me recently how to avoid disappointing their child during this special time of the year. I am afraid I was a bit harsh. I pointed out that it might be helpful to spread their disappointments a bit more often throughout the year and they might realise that the world does not revolve totally around them. It is a while since I read Dale Carnegie. Perhaps someone will put
How To Win Friends And Influence People on my present list.
It was fresh in my mind that I had been in a restaurant recently where a young couple with a threeyear-old occupied a nearby table.
Someone had given the child a balloon that you could blow up. It made a great screech as the air was let out. No doubt this was great fun. It was not great fun for the rest of the restaurant but the parents were either unable, or unwilling, to discipline their offspring.
I was close to having a Samantha and Sex And The City moment but I seem to recall she ended up covered in spaghetti when she was foolish enough to intervene.
At one stage the mother, who did not have embarrassment as part of her emotional repertoire, made a half-hearted attempt to take the balloon, provoking a screech that was even louder than the air escaping.
I am currently breathing a sigh of relief that I will probably not be on the same continent as that child this Christmas because if the parents have not worked out exactly what their spoiled offspring requires there will be mayhem.
One family I know had great difficulty last year as their sixyear-old would not, under any circumstances, let anyone see what was in her letter to Santa. Fortunately the youngster was not fully au fait with the Post Office and entrusted her mother to take the sealed and stamped letter to the letterbox. Now we all know it is a serious offence to interfere with the mail but…
Another stressed parent said to me that you worry about disappointing your offspring all the time but that it is worse at Christmas. I pointed out that the more you spend on a present the more likely it is to be ignored while they have fun playing with the box.
Christmas is, of course, a national holiday devoted to our most important religious experience, shopping. The build up begins around Halloween and there are a few new special days of devotion being invented each year. We all talk about Black Friday as if we remember it in childhood. Given this climate it is hardly surprising that children are worked into a frenzy of expectation that could not possibly be satisfied.
One mother offered me invaluable advice which I am happy to pass on.
Under no circumstances let children get their hands on any toy catalogue that is delivered to your house. These should go into the green bin and you will improve your own environment as well as helping the world long term.
Her husband had wheedled it out of his eldest son that the latest PlayStation was the only thing he wanted. This coincided with this father’s wishes and because mother was very tolerant none of the males in that household will ever have to deal with disappointment.