Christmas is music to cold ears
IN the Christmas movie Fred Claus, a visitor to the North Pole is driven to violence because the elf DJ keeps playing Here Comes Santa Claus over and over again. Strictly speaking, Christmas FM ought to provoke the same response; but there’s something heartwarming, amid so much political rancour, about tuning in to a pop-up station devoted entirely to cheering up, rather than depressing, its listeners. If nothing else, it proves that Irish people are perfectly prepared to throw themselves into the Christmas spirit, as long as it’s not foisted upon them too early.
Muireann O Connell played her first festive song on Today FM’s Lunchtime last Monday, asking listeners to pick from her specially formulated “jingle jangle” scale, ranging from one for songs that are associated with the season but not particularly Christmassy, such as Joni Mitchell’s River, to five for out and out Yuletide fare, such as Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You, with Chris Rea’s Driving Home For Christmas hovering somewhere around the middle.
The listeners then had their say. They went straight for five, so Muireann responded by playing Fairytale Of New York. East Coast FM at that exact same moment, however, was playing Shakin’ Stevens’ Merry Christmas Everyone, while Spirit FM had dug out Paul McCartney’s Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time, which suggested that some refinement to the “jingle jangle” scale may be needed to define songs so unutterably naff and awful that they can only be enjoyed for a mercifully brief period at this time of year.
The Ray D’Arcy Show is also currently inviting listeners to choose the music each afternoon, which meant that Monday also featured Fairytale Of New York, a song over which the Irish have, with patriotic fervour, taken total ownership (it was also Larry Gogan’s favourite Christmas song when he came into the studio on Wednesday to count down his top five favourite festive picks, even if, asked if he played Christmas music at home, the legendary 2FM DJ had to admit: “E-e-er, not really.”)
With Shane MacGowan calling Kirsty MacColl an “old slut on junk” in that song, and she firing back at him as a “cheap lousy faggot”, though, it’s a wonder the offence police still allow it to be played at all. On BBC Radio One’s Live Lounge, the censorship has begun in earnest. When Ed Sheeran and Anne-Marie, together with Irish folk band Beoga, performed a decidedly average cover of The Pogues’ Christmas classic on Tuesday, the offending words were changed, respectively, to what sounded like “gallant drunk” and “blackguard”, while, unforgiveably, “Merry Christmas, your arse” had become the much less vivid “Merry Christmas, you mug”. Only cloth ears would consider any of this an improvement. What’s real and raw was reduced to sentimental kitsch.
The John Creedon Show has been making up for this sacrilege on RTE Radio One each evening with a genuinely thoughtful and eclectic musical mix of the familiar (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin) and unfamiliar (who knew that ’70s folk rock band Jethro Tull had recorded a Christmas number?) At least someone’s making an effort.
Lyric FM’s Mystery Train and Blue Of The Night both seem to have decided that they’re still too cool for Yule. The question is, will they succumb between now and the big day?