To the most beautiful soul,
HERE are all the things I didn’t get to say: they say you have two lives, the second one begins when you realise you only have one. As tragic as that thought is, it is true for so many. I write this letter to the beautiful Delia, my best friend.
Thank you for everything. Everything you did for me, with me, everything. I only wish our time together had never ended. Eighteen years old, so young and so full of life. You had wanted to be 18 for as long as I could remember. We always dream of the future.
The beautiful unforeseen, full of promise and hope. Although for you, my dear friend, your fate had been decided.
Your favourite song, I Try, by Macy Gray, suited you down to the ground. It breaks my heart every time I hear the song. It brings all the memories back, but yet I can’t stop myself listening to it: “I believe that fate has brought us here and we should be together babe, but were not.” We are not.
Although, I always told you exactly how I felt about you and about how much I valued your friendship, I still think I could’ve done more. You were one of my first friends when I went to secondary school.
I still remember the first time I heard your voice. It was the first day of school, me a bundle of nerves with no friends, just a few familiar faces in the middle of everyone. I remember hearing your name thinking, wow I’ve never heard the name Delia, it’s so unique.
I had never spoken to you before but somehow I managed a smile which was returned by you. Thank you. After that moment, our friendship blossomed and before long we were inseparable, five or six of us, our little group. So happy and so unaware of what was going to become of us. You were absolutely gorgeous inside and out. I know people always say that but for you I really mean it, Dee.
Every memory I have, regardless how small, somehow leads back to you or a time we shared. I think of you every day and through the day you come into my thoughts and dreams. I wonder where you are now and why you had to leave us.
The truth about you was you told people exactly what you wanted and you never let anything stop you. For the most gentle person you had the heart of a lion.
The day you died still haunts my thoughts. You put up a video of you and Gar in the car on the way to what was going to be a great weekend away.
Unfortunately you never reached your destination. The background song in the video happened to be the same as what I was listening to. I laughed and began videoing me to the same song laughing and dancing and was going to wish you a good weekend. The song ended and so did my thought.
Sorry for not sending the video. What I would do to have spoken to you, to both of you one last time. The week before when I complained about how you hadn’t come to our recent plans with my other best friend. And when I picked up my phone to ring you but soon put it down thinking you’d be busy. Sorry for not ringing you. The day I saw you in town and you roared out and I laughed, and it reminded me as how much I missed you. I said I’d just text you later and have a proper conversation.
Later never came. Sorry Dee, I truly am. You always had such a special place in my heart and I’m grieving so badly for you. For all the amazing times we shared, the unforgettable memories and our friendship. I wholeheartedly swear I will never forget you... I truly cannot thank you, Delia, for just being the incredible person you were.
Also to you Gary our other gem that was cruelly taken from us, thank you. One day we will sit together and laugh carelessly about our lives, the fun we had and the mistakes we made. I cannot wait for that day. The day you are no longer a recent memory but my life again. I’ll always love you. Avril x
Avril Lynch, Kilmaley, Co Clare