The Social Drinker

Himself’s creepy vow to make more eye contact gives Sophie White a hint that whatever about seeing each other, they’ve clearly lost sight of romance

On non-alcoholic beer

Valentine’s Day is imminent, that time when societal pressure compels us to turn the dial of our relationship from its usual setting of simmering resentment over to the romance position. If you and your other half are lifers, it’s pretty likely that nothing much will happen this Wednesday — beyond feeling increasingly irritated at the loving, romance-drenched couples on Instagram.

Himself and I have never really nailed the romance thing. We got together before dating was really a thing in Ireland. It was just something for the Americans, a thing they did on Friends. In my teens, ‘dating’ amounted to little more than group outings to the cinema, or a nearby Esso station, for some awkward shifting, usually engineered by the friends of the shiftees; and not any real romantic overtures (though the old “Will you be with my mate?” line still holds a certain frisson, I’ll admit).

Our first ‘date’, if you could call it that, was a fairly unpremeditated rambling adventure, the first half of which I spent wearing a bin liner (don’t ask), the latter part I spent wearing-face with the dude who would eventually become the father of my children. It was not romantic.

Things have swung further away from romance in the years since. We pretty much spend the majority of our time reminding each other of forms that need to be filled out, whose turn it is to go to Aldi, and passing small humans we made ourselves back and forth between us.

“There can come a time in a relationship when you quite literally forget to make eye contact”

We nearly veered into romanceville a few months ago when, in quite a grand-gesturytype move, Himself made me a birthday playlist. The romance was somewhat undercut, however, by the fact that the playlist was for me to listen to while doing the one thing I wanted to do on my 31st birthday: spend the day completely, utterly, gloriously alone, away from him. He took it pretty well.

When he told me this year he was making a very important New Year’s resolution, I was all ears — albeit scrolling on my phone. “I’m going to make an effort to, ya know,

look at you more,” he said. “Whaaaaa, creepy,” I said, meeting his new, unwavering gaze. However, on reflection, I saw that he had a point.

There can come a time in a relationship when you quite literally forget to make eye contact with the other person. They’re such a boring fact of your life, you can easily slip into complacency. And maybe — if I’m really digging deep here — his proposal is just a teeny bit romantic.

I mean, if after 12 years together, he still wants to look at me, maybe that’s nice. As a gesture of my own, I made him these cupcakes, comprising two of his greatest loves: chocolate and Guinness.