Just Doing It

What: ‘Just do it’ is the old rallying cry of athletes everywhere, but now it has been applied to a whole new area of life: sex. Specifically sex between longterm couples, where a dwindling of bedroom activity can be the cause of deep-seated dissatisfaction.

Why: Because relationship breakdown is a grim business, as is living with someone who is permanently grumpy because they aren’t getting enough in the sack. Mismatched libidos, where one partner has a higher sex drive than the other, are very common, and can be very destructive. This could be the answer.

Why Now: Because all that stuff about ‘making time for romance’ clearly wasn’t working, and so the forward-thinking relationship gurus have come up with this; because the self-perpetuating nature of sexual desire (more is more, basically) is a truth that needs to be universally acknowledged, and because it’s nearly Valentine’s Day.

How: Stop procrastinating, stop waiting to be ‘in the mood’, stop setting the scene (dimming lights, cooking things in chocolate sauces for aphrodisiac effects), stop blocking off hours for a full, immersive Tantric experience. Just do it. Often. Even when you don’t want to. Especially when you don’t want to. Be generous.

Who: The pragmatic and expedient. Those sick of hearing “I’m tired” or “I’ve got a headache”. Anyone in a long-term relationship who wants to stay in it. Michele Weiner-Davis, whose Ted Talk on the topic has been viewed almost 3.5 million times.