Yomiko Chen

Mother to Lili-Sue, 2 in April

Life totally changed when I had Lili-Sue, and it’s never going to change back. I had no clue what it would to be like: people tell you, ‘Oh, pregnancy is hard’ and ‘Labour is hard’, but nobody tells you how hard it will be afterwards!

In fact, for me, the pregnancy was easy, the delivery was lucky, and she is a really healthy and happy baby. But sometimes I think it gets harder all the time, not easier. Every day is challenging, and interesting, because I grow up with her. Every day, Lili-Sue discovers and experiences something new, and the whole family experiences that together with her. She’s the boss. Whatever makes her happy, makes us happy.

I have changed since having her. I feel the time is never enough. I am stronger now, to face the things I have to do with her. I am more patient. I have to be. I cannot give out to her because she wants to do something, no matter what it is.

I went back to work only six weeks after having Lili-Sue, mainly for my mind — because modelling makes me feel good. Before I had her, I thought I was never going to go back to work, that I would become a different person, stay at home and look after her. But now, I appreciate going back home even more, and enjoy being with her more, because there is a balance. I really love what I do and I want to work harder because I want to be a good example for Lili-Sue in the future. I want her to see that she can do whatever she wants.

There is pressure — yes. Modelling is a competition; you need a certain look to get different jobs, but for me, the way I feel about my body now is different. I think I have to be healthy and lead a good lifestyle, not only for my work, but for Lili-Sue. I want to be healthy, so I can be around longer for her. I do more exercise, eat better, both for my job and for her.

My husband [Iain Conway] and I have a chain of Japanese restaurants [Kokoro Sushi Bento, Kokoro Sushi and the Ramen Bar], and we work together on them

— modelling has a time limit, there has to be a next step! He is such a good father; I never thought he would be so hands-on and look after her so well. He is so gentle with Lili-Sue; it’s another side of him that I never saw before.

Sometimes I feel guilty that I’m not with my baby. My husband and I are both working hard, but it’s for her future. So she can have a better life and a good education, and for that, I don’t feel guilty.

I grew up in Japan and China, and moved to Ireland as a teenager. If I were back home, my parents would look after Lili-Sue; it’s a cultural thing. Here, grandparents are more independent, although my mother-in-law is very good. I think it is nice for children to have more people, more relationships, different personalities, in their lives.

My family live in China, and while I would like them to see more of Lili-Sue, nothing can change blood — when they meet, they just know each other. There is no crying, just a big hug and a smile.

Here in Ireland, I think parents let their children be more independent. If they fall, the parents let them fall, and say they will know for the next time. They are more protective of babies in China, but when they are older and go to school, they are stage mums! They push them to be a big star. For me, if Lili-Sue is happy, that’s all I want. I’m not a Tiger mother. I grew up the Chinese way, and now I am learning the Irish way.”

“Before I had her, I thought I was never going to go back to work, that I would become a different person, stay at home and look after her. But now, I appreciate going back home even more”