No more hugs
Hospital-sized hugs for patients at the doctor’s clinic may be a thing of the past, writes Maurice Gueret, as he asks the Taoiseach to take his socks off
Doctor Huggers If your doctor has been a bit standoffish in recent weeks, I might have the reason here for you. The Medical Defence Union, which defends doctors in legal cases, chose the week of St Valentine to warn family docs and hospital consultants that hugging patients might land them in hot water. Their legal adviser, herself an eye specialist, has warned that any physical contact can be misinterpreted by patients, and could trigger investigation by the doctor’s regulator and the police. Medics have been warned to keep physical contact to the ‘minimum necessary’ and to make sure all hugs are fully documented in the patient’s notes. The MDU says that doctors who are not huggers shouldn’t feel obliged to hug their patients back. And they state that all doctors should firmly refuse hugs that are initiated by patients who may have amorous feelings towards them. The doctor should explain why it is inappropriate for them to ‘overstep professional boundaries’. I suppose we should thank our lucky stars that a handshake or a nice smile are not signs of professional misconduct. Not yet, anyhow. What a cold and mirthless workplace we’ll have when the robots and robocops take over completely.
Demented Drink
There is an age-old expectation that all medical research from France extolls the value of alcohol for human health. The ancient town of Beaune in Burgundy is, after all, the home of a 15th-Century hospital that still auctions off barrels of wine every year to pay for patient services. So I sat up and took notice of some recent research into drinking and early dementia. A huge hospital study of over one million dementia patients in France suggests that nearly 40pc of cases before the age of 65 are directly caused by heavy alcohol use. Patients with alcohol disorders were three times more likely to succumb. The brain-cell damage alcohol does appears to be permanent, and doesn’t repair when drinking stops or is cut down. It’s clear evidence that too much alcohol doesn’t just wipe out memory of the night before, it may wipe out some memory banks completely. Advice about what constitutes heavy drinking changes all the time. I’m opting for the 14-units-a-week limit, which is two small glasses of French wine (or a pint of beer) a day. Don’t forget it.
Hospital Parking
Last time I wrote about the cost of hospital parking, I had a letter from a family down the country whose mother was being treated in Dublin for a period of time. They totted up the parking charges of the immediate family in this public hospital, and it came to €840. The daughter in the family wrote to inform the CEO of this burden. She was told that the car park belonged to a parking company and not to the hospital. Nobody in the hospital ever told them about a discount for long-term patients. I had an old pal back in medical school who was having his doubts about doing medicine. He knew Dublin well, and thought car-park development might be the future. In many ways, he was a genius. He certainly had an eye for a good racket.
Dear Taoiseach
Hi Leo, your new National Development Plan leaves me cold. Why are three new operating-theatre hospitals being built, when we cannot find enough specialist nurses for the ones we already have? Your party made three clear promises to Irish patients: no more trolleys; abolition of the HSE; and the introduction of universal healthcare. It has reneged on every one of them. As I write, public hospitals are sending out first appointments to patients for the year 2024. You say things are getting better. I‘m sorry Leo, but they’re not. You have some good qualities. Going against the grain and telling home truths to a party of yes-men are two that stood to you. You know in your heart that more construction sites won’t sort out this mess. As you take off your shamrockthemed socks this evening, have a feel of that big ropey thing behind your ankle. You will recall from anatomy days that this is your Achilles tendon. For the conquering Greek hero, it was his weak spot. A poisonous arrow landed there and pierced deep. My worry, Leo, is that a poor record on health is becoming your Achilles heel. We expected better from our young doctor. And for our sins, perhaps we still do. But I fear that your time, like that of all doctors before you, is running out. We are all starting to feel that painful heel.