ZOZIMUS

WE were rather ignominiously turned away from the opening of the Seamus Heaney exhibition Listen Now Again in the old parliament of Ireland building in College Green last Wednesday morning.

Polite young things from the National Library of Ireland, the Department of Culture, Heritage and the Gaeltacht and the Bank of Ireland were going about with clipboards and lists — and as Zozimus didn’t carry any weight with them we were left lingering on the footpath.

Admittedly the sunshine outside seemed preferable to the hot atmosphere within.

It is probably just as well, because had we gained entrance we would have felt compelled to tackle the Bank of Ireland’s relatively new chief executive Francesca McDonagh on the bank’s insistence on continuing to reduce one of Ireland’s great buildings to the role of a bank branch.

The bank took over the building after the Acts of Union in 1800, and generations of spineless politicians have allowed it to continue this occupation — when clearly this great building should be used for much better purposes, such as the ‘Centre of Irish Achievement’ proposed by architect Tom Murphy.

However the Heaney exhibition is something of a breakthrough, as the bank’s efforts to inform tourists and locals about the historic significance of the building has, up to now, been pathetic. It’s as if it doesn’t want to draw attention to itself.

Our man with a cultured voice and pinstriped suit who did get in, informs us that while the organisation was a bit chaotic the exhibition of Heaney material “catches the heart off guard” (he was showing off his poetic knowledge) and that Michael D made a wonderful speech, which left the poet’s widow, Marie, with the dilemma of “how do you follow that?”

But she did — and when the fogeys with their clipboards and lists disappear we’ll ramble back for a look. LUCKILY our papers were in order for the American ambassador’s Fourth of July garden party, which was hosted on the third of July by Charge d’Affaires Reece Smyth, as The Donald hasn’t got around to appointing an ambassador.

Never mind. Any party that is going to be boycotted by the likes of Richard Boyd Barrett, Gino Kenny, et al, is one we wouldn’t miss.

Formerly the residence of the chief secretary for Ireland, the ambassadorial residence is set in beautiful wooded parkland in Phoenix Park — and Mr Smyth was pleased to tell us it was where Lord Frederick Cavendish was laid out on a table after he was carved up by the Invincibles the day he arrived in Ireland to take up his new office on May 6, 1882. The assassins then escaped in a carriage driven by James ‘Skin The Goat’ Fitzharris.

Reece, who would make a very fine US ambassador to Ireland himself, made sure there was copious amounts of Bud, red wine and sliders for the assembled and the busy diplomat has found time since coming here to travel up to the Donegal Gaeltacht and learn enough of the cupla focal to put most of the natives to shame.

“The unique relationship between our two countries is strong, but we should always work hard at it,” he told the assembled — a remark that struck a note with some of the more discerning guests.

While people may have right on their side in being anti-Trump, there is a distinction between that and covert anti-American sentiment that lingers strongly among smoked salmon liberals.

The event also included big screens showing England’s triumph in the penalty shoot-out against Colombia. Though there were a residue of ‘anyone but England’ diehards, it was refreshing to see that most of the crowd were cheering for our nearest neighbour — though whether we want them to actually win the World Cup is another matter.

******* BACK in the members’ bar in Leinster House, the ‘remainers’ watching the same penalty shoot-out divided into two camps, watching the drama on two different television sets.

Apparently one of them was slightly ahead of the other and so most of the politicians (apart from the Sinn Fein contingent) were at the far end of the bar.

In walked Senator Frankie Feighan who stopped at the first TV set. “How are our lads doing?” he asked loudly — and according to those present caused consternation in the ranks of the ‘anyone but England’ Shinner brigade, cheering for Colombia.

“I was only hopping the ball,” said Feighan, who has advocated Ireland participating in the Commonwealth Games, later. “They took it in good part.”

Frankie’s soccer credentials are sound when it comes to following the Republic of Ireland. He recalls 30 years ago hiring a double-decker bus with a group of friends, driving from Roscommon to Stuttgart, eating their meals upstairs and sleeping downstairs.

Those were the days!

******* GOOD and bad news out in Montrose where the RTE annual report is being parsed and analysed by the dwindling band of station staff.

While all the attention is on the salaries of the ‘stars’, it seems to have slipped most people’s attention that station director-general Dee Forbes received remuneration of €338,000 last year, including a €25,000 car allowance and pension contribution of €63,000 — which will come in handy when she gets the bus pass.

We’re not carping by the way. It’s a tough job and deserves a top salary.

It was also noted that the various people involved in selling off a chunk of Montrose, one of the great sites in south County Dublin, walked off with €5m in what were termed “sales enabling costs”.

We presume it was in reference of the €105m that Cairn Homes paid for the land.

While RTE might be happy with all that money from the land sale, the commuters will be very displeased when the massive new junction outside RTE and a set of pedestrian lights go into operation. The Stillorgan Road is clogged up enough with traffic — but the future could be truly horrendous. ******* IT wasn’t quite car crash television, more raised eyebrow TV, when Matt Cooper interviewed Supermac’s Pat McDonagh for the final item of TV3’s Tonight Show last Thursday. It had to do with the burning question of how the weather is affecting the potato crop. It seemed an obvious item until a few probing questions revealed, to Matt’s incredulity, that Supermac’s don’t source their potatoes in Ireland. There isn’t a chip-making factory in this country it seems. The good news is that Pat McDonagh is working on a plan to build one.