The dad’s guide to summer dressing
ITHINK we should talk a little bit about dad dressing in summer. Dad dressing is a tricky enough prospect at the best of times but in the summer, it takes on horrendous possibilities. I would like to stress that I do not speak for fashion in general; the views expressed here are my own. So for what it’s worth, here are my rules for summer dressing for dads: You are too old for the trends: Obviously I accept that there are a small proportion of young and/or extremely fit dads who can wear the trends. There may be one of these in your dad group. Maybe you are even jealous of him. Don’t be. You should feel sorry for him. It’s relentless trying to keep up with the trends. The trends are moving so fast nowadays that stuff is often out of date by the time it makes it to the shops. It’s exhausting.
Many of this small subset of trendy dads don’t even know any more if they are on trend. There is a constant niggle at the back of their heads that they are very last week. And there will always be someone else who is more bang on trend than they are, so walking down the street for them can be a source of humiliation and shame. Many of them nip home at lunchtime to update their look.
As a busy working dad, you have enough on your plate as it is without being body shamed and fashion shamed by pressure from the media and other trendy dads.
So you need to either surf over or under the trends. Come up with a look that suits you and that isn’t wildly out of date, and stick with it. This shows confidence, or else boringness. Keep it simple: This is entirely a personal opinion but I don’t think Irish people should wear colour or patterns. It generally makes us look like the mother of a bride.
Irish men especially should keep it classy and low key. If I had my way I would just wear navy all the time, but you can’t do that either. So maybe include some grey, some black and some white. No matter how much it might seem to be back in fashion, you must never ever wear a Hawaiian shirt, even if you go to Hawaii. Which, let’s face it, you are never going to do. You also need to be very careful with T-shirts that have things written on them. Some of them can look OK and some look very try-hard. If you are the average dad you don’t know the difference, so keep it simple on the T-shirts too. And don’t have any zips or obvious sandblasting or whiskering or distressing on your jeans. You’re a dad now. Get a grip man. Shorts — the dilemma: My general rule on shorts would be that you cannot wear them within a three-mile radius of the city centre. Do not wear shorts in a restaurant in Ireland, on the bus, in the office, at Mass, or indoors in a pub. Shorts are for home, for when you are safely abroad, or for when you are at the beach or in the countryside.
I am aware that shorts have become more acceptable in formal situations, but that doesn’t make it right.
A good rule for when it’s appropriate to wear shorts is: “Would I wear my underpants or my togs in this situation?” If the answer is “yes”, then it is appropriate to wear shorts. Shoes: Summer shoes are problematic for the Irish dad. He has a pair of strong black shoes, slightly less strong brown shoes, and a pair of runners that he thinks look cool in a 1970s Adidas way. In the summer he is a bit lost so is susceptible to wearing flip-flops inappropriately.
If you must get your toes out in a non-beach or pool situation maybe consider Birkenstocks. Crocs are never a good look, but they have their charms for when you don’t care.
I’ll admit to having two pairs of fur-lined Crocs to which I am very attached. For weekends you could also consider going sockless with moccasins. Just don’t think about them too much or you’ll feel like a tool.
That’s all we have time for today.
We may return to this topic...