Shauna Keogh

Shauna Keogh (36) is an Emmy-nominated TV producer and director from Tallaght. She has recently launched 5428, a clothing line tailored towards the LGBT community. After a decade in the US, she now lives in Dublin

My days are never the same, and I love it that way. It’s part and parcel of my business. I’m a television producer and director, and I generate my own work. I’ve also just launched a clothing line called 5428, which is tailored towards the LGBT community. Everything I do is a passion project.

I lived in Brooklyn for 10 years, and I loved it. I was in an apartment block and it was block-to-block. The sun only came around at a certain time every evening, and there were bars on most of the windows. When I came back to Dublin, it was a huge thing for me to have the windows open. And I really enjoy the sun shining in when I wake up. It took a while to get used to the quietness again. I had lived in the middle of Manhattan for a year as well, so it was beep-beep.

This morning, I was awake at 5.15am. I usually take 10 minutes for myself. I listen to motivational speakers and I’m big into empowerment affirmations. I’m self-employed. Anyone who runs their own company knows how difficult it can be. You have to be self-motivated on everything.

Everyone has down days where they don’t want to do a call. But if the phone doesn’t ring, you have to make it happen yourself. I am accountable for myself. That was instilled in me from an early age. My mother raised me to be independent.

Then I head to the gym. I go every day. It’s the best place for my mental health. My whole world centres around screens — either looking down a camera lens or staring at an edit, so the gym is my switch-off time.

When I come back from the gym, I put the turkey rashers on and I start the kettle boiling, while I jump into the shower. I like to be sitting down at my desk at 8.15am. Going to the gym and being at my desk at the same time each day is about putting structure on my working life. I need routine, because in my industry, there is no routine or stability.

New York has gone to bed by the time I wake up, so I’m catching up on emails. I still work on both sides of the Atlantic. Over two years ago, I set up my own company — Empire Elite. I create documentaries and TV formats. If I have an idea, I will do everything I can to create it. I have a crime series in development for Netflix, and I’m in the middle of post-production of a documentary with Mayo footballer Cora Staunton.

The first show I ever created was a documentary about Katie Price and Peter Andre when they came out of the jungle [they met on the 2004 series of I’m a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here]. I lived with them for three years. The experience I got from that was invaluable. I had to learn how to film, and run my own audio. My relationship with them was very strong, but I never talk about people I work with; I build trust with the people I work with, and I keep it. I have a reputation for dealing with sensitive subjects and building trusted relationships. I have to be able to sleep at night.

I did a documentary where a 40-year-old virgin lost his virginity on camera. I filmed it. You’d think it was bizarre and ‘Why would anyone want to do that?’ But it was a coming-of-age love story, and there was a lot of tragedy involved.

You can’t just walk into a person’s life, cause massive destruction by making a documentary, and then leave. There’s a responsibility that comes with it, and that’s always been my thing.

I earned my stripes in reality TV, and then I went on to make documentaries. I’ve worked with the BBC and Channel 4, National Geographic and The Discovery Channel. One of my programmes was nominated for an Emmy.

While I was enjoying success with my career, I kept my sexuality hidden. I was in extreme denial, and I was confused. Then a friend said to me: ‘If you are gay, you will never be able to outrun it. It’s part of who you are.’ I had my first relationship in North Carolina. It was everything that a relationship is supposed to be, but it was hidden, and it was killing me. I was leading a double life, and I was constantly looking over my shoulder. My career was flying, and I didn’t want anything to jeopardise it. When I came out to my parents, I couldn’t even say the word ‘gay’. I just said that I had a girlfriend, and burst out crying. They were so supportive and so loving.

People think that once you come out, it is great, hurray. But it’s not like that. You have to find your feet and learn to live again. I had to come to terms with it, and my habits were so ingrained from hiding. I avoided so many situations. I had to change and accept it. Now I go to therapy once a fortnight, and it is a huge help.

I came up with the clothing-line range 5428 — which stands for LGBT numerically on your phone’s keypad — because I don’t want to have to come out every time. You can wear this small subtle logo, instead of having to scream it from the rooftops. Besides, there has got to be more than the usual typical lesbian wardrobe — V-neck T-shirts, check shirts, denims and Converse runners.

When I’m not working, I meet friends, I go mountain biking in Ticknock, and I like to go to Street 66, an LGBT bar in Temple Bar. And I love going to see foreign movies and documentaries — anything a little bit edgy.

I don’t have a partner at the moment, and I’m married to my job. But I don’t have a door closed to anything. Now that I’m out, there is nothing hanging over me. The opportunities are limitless.

The 5428 range will be available to buy in Street 66, in Temple Bar, Dublin 2

5428apparel.com

@5428apparel

“I came up with the clothing line because I don’t want to have to come out every time”