EIGHT TIPS TO MAKE US MORE ROUNDED

1. Many of us thought we’d have it all figured out by adulthood. Which can mean a nasty surprise when life throws curve balls and the rules seem to be constantly changing. The question is, do you really know yourself? Do you know who and why you are the person you are with yourself, and in your seven most important relationships?

2. Within you there is your public, private and unconscious self. Is there a major gap between your private and public self? Be aware that real insight is challenging as much as it is rewarding.

3. What beliefs did you absorb from your parents that may need a refresh? This is harder to recognise than you think. Asking a trusted friend, partner or sibling might highlight some of your ingrained beliefs.

4. Find out why your siblings know exactly which of your buttons to push. The sibling relationship is the longest and most influential relationship and often the one given the least amount of time. Understand your role and place in your family, and how it still plays out in your life with friends, work and with your parents.

5. Your romantic relationship — what one thing would you like to change about who and how you are with your partner? Write it down and stick it somewhere to remind yourself. Try to reduce three things that are negative within the relationship and write out three things you like about your relationship and partner.

6. Parenthood — are you getting lost in the demands of your children’s activity schedule? Do you feel more exhausted and worried than joyful? With a tsunami of opinions, ask yourself how do you want to parent? If you change one thing this week, eat together more. Connection is the heart of parenting and all relationships. We need actual face-time for this to happen.

7. Many studies say friendships may be more important than family in later years. If I had to flag one relationship in your Russian doll it would be this one. Friendships given no time or energy wither and fade. Pick up your phone and make a friend-date.

8. Create and maintain good work boundaries, an essential skill in our always-contactable society.