Little thought and love would go a long way

Sir — I am in my 60s and a separated woman and mother of three lovely children who are all married with children and with degree positions for which I am thankful.

I work full-time and I am pretty independent, but I love my children and grandchildren whom I never see.

This is probably because I left their dad — a good man, but one who had alcohol for his best friend.

I have been ill a lot of this summer but this is now behind me thank God, and one of my children visited once during this six-week period.

I lie here in bed awake most nights, as I find it difficult to sleep and I don’t want to go down to the kitchen again and take a drink to try to sleep as I know it’s only leading down a bad road.

Through my tears, my mind wanders back to my three darling children when they needed me and I am sad, those little people who cried in the darkness and whom, though exhausted, I jumped out of bed to soothe, hug or clean up sickness or medicate.

Now I am a forgotten nanny who never gets a call returned when I phone, maybe three days later, and that might be a text message which I hate. It’s so banal — a quick text that they are very busy and have sleepless nights but will phone soon, which they never do. How I miss unconditional love and a big hug.

It was a hard slog for their dad and I to educate three, one after another, in university and to have to re-mortgage to get them there, but we were happy to do it. I write this because I have a lot of friends whom I go to tea with and many of my age feel the same and are also very perplexed as to what went wrong — we all treated our parents with reverence and got nothing in many cases, as there was no money for further education or any holidays abroad etc.

Is it our children got everything at our expense? That the children of the 90s have no respect for anything and expect everything given? I know life is busy for young parents and very demanding jobs are stressful, but a little thought and love would go a long way in appreciation of all the love and doing without we did when they were young. Name and address with the Editor