Grief is so lonely

Sir — May I refer to two recent front-page articles by Brendan O’Connor (Sunday Independent, ‘Her name was Dawn Croke’ January 13, and ‘Take care, make time for life’ February 3) regarding two recent heartbreaking tragedies here in Donegal. He has indeed a great gift in finding words, even for such unbearable grief.

It reminded me of words on the same subject, which I read in Michelle Obama’s brilliant memoir Becoming as follows:

“It hurts to live after someone has died. It just does. It can hurt to walk down a hallway or open a fridge. It hurts to put on a pair of socks, to brush your teeth.

“Food tastes like nothing. Colours go flat. Music hurts, and so do memories. You look at something you’d otherwise find beautiful — a purple sky at sunset or a playground full of kids — and it only somehow deepens the loss. Grief is so lonely this way.”

Brian McDevitt, Glenties, Co Donegal