I’m still traumatised by Jojo Siwa

BRENDAN O’CONNOR

JOJO Siwa is shouting at us. She wants everyone to scream. Ten thousand people scream back at her. They want to scream. They are here to scream. And Jojo knows that. Jojo

Siwa (pictured below) knows what her audience wants. And you or I don’t understand it. We haven’t a clue. A TV presenter, who’s here with her own kids, looks at me bewildered, and mouths, “What the f **k?”

Some of the mothers seem to understand it. Indeed some of the mothers seem to be enjoying this as much as the kids. There is me and a handful of other men here. We keep our heads down. If we got on the wrong side of this crowd, there is no knowing what they would do to us.

Jojo wants to know if they like ‘candy’. They do. There follows a long discussion of whether they prefer doughnuts or Starburst or a variety of other sweet things. The last sweet thing to be mentioned is her favourite. Cupcakes. The crowd goes crazy. There possibly aren’t many audiences that would appreciate a 10-minute session of between-song banter about candy. But for these kids, it’s all about candy.

They are all crazed on candy right now, and in general it is everything to them. It is their currency, the love of their life. Many of the songs, and the stage backdrops and videos, seem to revolve around candy.

Apart from that, there are speeches about working hard, believing in yourself, being friends with kids who are different.

All laudable. But really, you suspect the candy is the spoonful of sugar that makes the medicine of the inspirational messages go down. They came for the candy talk. She slips in the feel-good messages.

Many of you may not know who or what Jojo Siwa is. Jojo Siwa is 16, but she is strangely ageless. At times, she seems like a bold toddler, and at times her raspy voice makes her sound like a disappointed waitress from Boise,

Idaho who has come to work in Reno.

Jojo Siwa is worth millions and millions of dollars. A couple of years back she marketed a range of bows, called, obviously, Jojo Bows. They were a phenomenon. Some kids collected dozens of them. The bows were controversial in some places, where it was claimed that kids who didn’t have any Jojo bows, because their parents couldn’t afford them, were being bullied. Jojo Siwa is against bullying. Her biggest hit, Boomerang ,is about bullying.

Jojo Siwa, obviously comes from YouTube.

Jojo Siwa does appear to have one album, and she certainly has some songs. She performs these songs for us in between her long chats. But it’s hard to know if any of these kids has ever bought her album, or if the songs are even the real point of Jojo Siwa.

The real point of Jojo is that we are here, and Jojo is here. Sometimes, she just walks around the stage putting her hand up to her ear in a listening gesture. And the kids just scream.

Jojo has pared entertainment back to its core. She could, you suspect, literally stand there for the whole gig, and just be a shaman, allowing these kids to get together and scream. But of course, she is also a dancer and a singer and a vlogger too.

She hasn’t got the greatest voice in the world, but then, she’s 80 dates into her tour at this stage. We go on Wednesday night. Another 10,000 people will go to the 3 Arena to see Jojo on Thursday night. Jojo’s mom, Jessalynn, a dance instructor, must be pleased with how it is all going. Jojo’s brother Jayden is a vlogger too. Maybe I’ll be going to see him next year.

As it goes on, I feel my central nervous system starting to shut down.

The bombardment of the senses is getting too much for me. I am being pounded with flashing moving videos of candy in primary colours. And Jojo and her dancers keep changing into ever more sequinny and colour-clashing outfits.

Just when you think Jojo couldn’t be more shiny and clashing, she finds another outfit, with new loud colours that you didn’t know existed. Most of the little girls are wearing lots of sequins too, from their hi-tops up. A fair few of the mothers are also rocking sequins.

Jojo seems to give everyone permission to unleash their inner, Smarties- and Skittlescrazed toddler. My younger one is dancing in the aisles, busting crazy moves. The older one is sitting next to me, looking overwhelmed. I keep asking her if she’s having a good time. She assures me she is loving it.

When we try to leave before the last song, she begs to stay. She seems hypnotised by it all. She even briefly tries to ask me to buy her a €30 Jojo Siwa T-shirt.

After a brief discussion she agrees she is just caught up in the madness of the moment and she would regret it in the morning. It should be said though that many of the kids here are wearing the €30 Jojo T-shirts.

Jojo Siwa, or the people behind her, understand showbusiness and little girls in a way that you and I can’t even comprehend.

What the f **k indeed.